Let's Not Lose Our Heads
by GintaxAlvissForever
Summary: Reyn says that a lot, and yet he couldn't keep to his own advice. Now he's without a head and turned into a Dullahan with only a week left before his body gives up on him. With the help of Dark Pit and some other odd characters, Reyn hopes to retrieve his head before its too late, but unfortunately, Skyworld isn't going to make life easy for him.
1. The Axecident

**Let's Not Lose Our Heads**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Super Smash Brothers. That goes to Nintendo. The only characters I own are those from the Golden Land, angels from Skyworld including the royal bodyguards, Angel Assembly and archangels along with all the other angels and of course the witch hunters. Finally I do not own Phantom Brave or Queen's Blade. They belong to Nippon Ichi and Hobby Japan.**

 **Summary: During a duel with one of the Angel Assembly members, Reyn gets decapitated by accident and has to be turned into a Dullahan in order for his life to be saved. His head fell off Skyworld forcing Dark Pit to search the human worlds for the missing head. Reyn only has one week left before his body officially gives up on him and he has no way of communicating with his friend. Will the two be able to find his head or are they heading for disappointing results?**

 **Pairing: Reyn/Pittoo, Pit/Melia, Robin/Shulk and implied Pit/Laharl and Ash/Cia**

 **Rated: M (for mature)**

 **Genre: Humor, Romance, Friendship and borderline Parody**

 **Warning: Swearing, memes, bad puns, sexual situations, extreme violence and unintentional OOC**

 **Another gift for Aria because she is obsessed with the idea of Reyn as a Dullahan. Well here is how that will go in my universe. Enjoy!**

Chapter 1: The Axecident

* * *

Reyn has always told his friends that they shouldn't lose their heads over small things. He had said it so many times that the saying often gets hand waved. It never occurred to him that he would have to take his own advice for once if he wanted to live.

The redhead Homs didn't think he would have any issues when Dark Pit asked him to come to Skyworld for him after another mini Smash tournament had ended. Granted, Dark Pit had asked Lucina and Lucas to come along as well, but Lucina had decided to go back to Ylisse to spend time with her friends and family and Lucas was asked before hand to go home with Ness. That meant that Reyn was the only one of Pittoo's friends to be free. This was good for him because it meant understanding the angel culture better and getting some alone time with the dark angel. He would never admit that during the short time that he hung out with the dark angel when he was supposed to be helping his best friend Shulk out with training that he developed strong feelings for the young angel. So in the back of his mind he probably was expecting too much out of the dark angel who was rather oblivious to the older teen's feelings.

What he got was far from what he ever asked for.

The first thing that Dark Pit had attempted to do when the two returned to Skyworld was show him the different sections of heaven. Starting from Eden, the capital of all of heaven and where Palutena's Temple was located (and way bigger than Reyn had ever imagined), Dark Pit would attempt to circle around Skyworld. Reyn soon realized that Skyworld was structured like a star seeing as how the entire angel nation was held up by strong clouds despite the fact that the clouds were fluffy when one stepped on them. Pittoo started with Angelus that was considered the location where the middle class angels were and the place where it was easy to access the human realms of the universe (specifically the Overworld that Palutena specifically looked after) and from there, he would go counterclockwise going into huge rants about how these sections of heaven worked. Dark Pit was surprised how much Reyn was interested in learning about his culture and it allowed for him to become more enthusiastic when going into detail about why these heaven sites have demonic sounding names.

From Angelus, Dark Pit went to Sandalphon (the poor section of heaven), Helel (where the hospital for angels are), Evangelion (where the rich angels live) and finally Lucifer (where the angels train to become soldiers). When they got to Lucifer, that was where problems escalated quickly.

You see, Dark Pit went out of his way to explain the locations but not the people that he knew in heaven. The black angel didn't really have that many people he could trust besides members of the royal bodyguards (who Dark Pit said he would introduce the Homs to later), so when angels from the Angel Assembly approached him, Dark Pit didn't take their presence well.

There are two angels that Dark Pit loathed more than anyone in heaven. One of them was in front of him while the other one would cause him problems after this problematic incident. The angel in front of him called herself Friday (as in the weekday although Friday had claimed that her name came from the Norse Goddess Freya). She was one of the richest angels of all of heaven and she was certainly one of the bitchiest. She was a tall beauty amongst beauties that all male angels while they feared Friday in her presence were quick to call her a babe behind her back. She had a perfect body with gigantic boobs that easily agitated the dark angel. She has medium blonde hair and blue eyes. Her outfit was incredibly revealing seeing as there was only a blue breastplate that appeared too much like a swimsuit with a wolf design and that alone was enough to anger Dark Pit who wasn't interested in the sex appeal of others. She wore two sapphire earrings dangling from each of her ears, a silver tiara that she wore instead of the usual crown of laurel that angels were expected to wear and silver high heels. The only thing that decently covered Friday was the silver cape that she had that seem to be designed specifically for her as she often wrapped her wings around her body in order to wear the cape and only took the cape off when she needed to fight seriously.

The other angels next to her was just her best friend and maid Darcy who Dark Pit also didn't like but his hate for her wasn't as bad as Friday's. She was a lower class angel that did not care about being treated horribly by the blonde angel. Her overall appearance was that of a cat including the spiky orange hair and gold eyes that were leering at the dark angel and his Homs friend. She had remained quiet when Friday started to bad mouth him in front of Reyn.

"Oh, looks like the replica decided to bring a boy toy from the Smash Realm after all. And to think we were all joking that you would actually find someone who would look at you."

Dark Pit had usually been able to ignore Friday's taunt since this was your typical Angel Assembly behavior. Today was just not not one of them. His cheeks turned red as he gave her the attention she desired from him.

"You could probably get a friend too if you got off your high horse for once!"

Darcy snickered behind Friday before looking away when the older angel glared at her maid.

"Oh, after all this time, the replica is capable of barking. I wonder if you're actually capable of walking as you are bitching."

"You want to go?"

"Of course seeing as how you're incapable of winning a single Smash tournament no matter how small it is or how lame the competition in the bracket is."

Sore spot after sore spot made the dark angel take out his Silver Bow. This was his chance to shut her up once and for all and earn some respect in heaven.

"Hey Lived, you should probably cool your head." Reyn spoke worried that the black clad doppelganger was going to do something foolish. "I mean...we should continue the tour…"

"Sorry, Reyn. The tour is on hold until I put this bitch in her place." Dark Pit growled. "I am sick and tired of her insulting me and my accomplishments! When she actually comes down to earth like every other normal person, then she can talk down to me!"

"I really think you're losing your head over…"

"Stop with the head puns or do you want to lose _your_ head?!"

Reyn shut his mouth almost instantly. Friday chuckled seeing how "poorly" the dark angel was treating his friend.

"To the coliseum we go to fight one on one." Friday told him as she tilted her head toward the sports dorm that was specifically for the angels to use during angel competition such as Light versus Dark.

Reyn found himself being dragged along against his will when Friday and Dark Pit rushed immediately to their destination.

"Your little faggot angel is going to lose to the Great Friday." Darcy taunted to the redhead Homs as she zipped by him before he could shout at her for insulting his friend.

The match shouldn't have been an issue seeing as how it was just a fierce rivalry between two angels. It was only a matter of time before Dark Pit took her on, so it was better for them to get their hatred of each other out of the way now. Dark Pit had his bow and Friday had her battle axe underneath her cape ready to take out when she needed to battle.

"Hope you don't chip a nail." Dark Pit taunted as he split his bow in two so he could point to his rival.

"I was going to say something similar, but I don't think your boyfriend would mind when I pound your ass into the ground." Friday spat right back.

"W-What? He's not my…" Dark Pit sighed realizing it was pointless to try argue with her. "Game on!"

Dark Pit didn't know what to really expect when dealing with Friday. She was a veteran fighter that needed to be respected, but he refused to acknowledge her strength when she spent more time bitching to Pit during Angel Assembly meetings than train with the other angels. This was proving to be a mistake seeing as how she spent more time parrying Dark Pit waiting for him to tire out. She smirked as she would swing her axe around a few times just to get give her breathing room.

"You can do it, Lived!" Reyn cheered from the stands he was forced to sit in (and conveniently sat far away from Darcy). "I believe in you!"

"Aww, isn't that cute?" Friday teased.

"...Shut up Reyn…" Lived muttered as he turned his two blades back into a bow and fired purple arrows of light at his opponent. Friday could only parry so many arrows before she would eventually be poked by some of them. Since she didn't wear a lot of clothes compared to the other angels, visible purple marks would be left on her skin where the arrows hit. This caused her to frown seeing that it made Dark Pit believe that he was doing well against her. "How's that?"

"Annoying." She responded as she threw the battle axe at him without warning. The dark angel didn't expect this and had to dodge out of the way at the last minute before the axe went back to the blonde like a boomerang. "You really want me to decapitate you for ruining my skin...don't you?"

"Oh, wouldn't it be nice if it was your head that I knocked off?" Dark Pit growled earning a huge sigh from Darcy.

"With all of these head puns being thrown around, I swear someone really is going to die from them." Darcy spoke speaking mainly to the fourth wall as if she was expecting something to happen.

"What?" Reyn asked confused at her statement.

The match was soon even between the two now that Dark Pit forced Friday to move around. She could rush him down in heels, but she wasn't as fast as she should be. Dark Pit had gotten good hits in and instead of purple marks, her knees would receive cuts. Her axe was too big to lay a finger on the raven haired angel causing her to groan in frustration.

"...I guess you want me to be serious?"

Friday's yellow wings opened up immediately afterward causing her cape to be flung upward. The wind in Skyworld caused it to blow in Reyn's direction and hitting him in the face to where the cape blocked his vision. Nobody paid too much attention seeing as how Friday matched Pittoo's speed now with each swing of her axe. The dark angel shrieked when the axe nearly hit him across the neck. She had every intention of murdering him at this point.

"You're really going to chip a nail if you keep this up." Pittoo reminded her hoping the taunting would work. He was met by electricity flying past his cheek nearly causing him to tremble. "What the?"

"You forget, I'm like Isaak. Barbequed chicken sounds nice, doesn't it?"

This was why Dark Pit didn't want to fight any lightning angels. They were more dangerous than any other element in his mind...besides fire angels of course because his wings wouldn't be able to take that many zaps. Dealing with Pikachu, yellow Pikmin or a certain tactician's Thoron was hard enough...he didn't need an angel out to kill him.

"Why do you need to bring Isaak up? Is that why you're always on my ass?"

"Perhaps. He treats a replica like you better than he treats his childhood friend. You need to know your place."

"Maybe you just need to learn how to play nice. It's not my fault he thinks I'm hot."

The sparks were flying literally at this point to the point both did not seem to care there were people in the stands that could have been hurt. Friday was shooting lightning recklessly hoping she would get some critical hits in. She hit him at least twice when the dark angel tired out a few times after constant dodging (damn Uprising mechanics). Friday herself almost got an awful haircut from the dark angel who was deliberately aiming for her face with his arrows. After Reyn removed the cape from his face, he could visibly see the animosity between the two angels and he hoped he never had to have this much hate toward someone...and over another angel apparently.

 _Who the hell is Isaak?_ Reyn asked to himself not realizing how irritated he sounded. _Is that Lived's friend? Why would he brag about his looks when he never cared so much for them?_

While Reyn was lost in thought about who this Isaak angel was, the battle seemed to have been in Dark Pit's favor at this point. While the black angel was reluctant to use arrow rain on Friday because of Reyn's presence, he managed to close the gap between him and Friday and effectively knock the axe out of her hand. Because Friday attempted to swing it at the black angel when the two blades got close to her, the impact was so strong that she couldn't hold onto it.

"Dammit!" Friday cursed seeing the axe fly off. "Got to get it...huh?!"

Dark Pit was confused why Friday looked so stunned at her weapon flying off toward the stands when no one would have been dumb enough to actually sit around when that thing was flying. Looking at the stands, Darcy had already zoomed off so she wouldn't even be near the battle axe, but Reyn was still sitting there like an idiot with his driver in hand.

"Idiot! Why aren't you ducking?!" Dark Pit questioned. "Please move out of the way!"

Why did Reyn not listen to Dark Pit? He probably wanted to show off how badass he was with how he could continue watching his friend while deflecting anything coming his way. It sounded cool in his head. He had his driver out ready to knock the axe away, but he wasn't expecting the axe to have so much knockback to bounce off above him. He groaned hearing his driver crack. How was he going to tell Shulk he might have broken his weapon?

"REYN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! MOVE!"

Reyn was dumb to look up when he still saw a shadow above him. The axe was only knocked into the air and coming down at top speed. He only had a small amount of time to activate Last Stand, but even that wasn't going to save him when the axe came down on his neck.

"Reyn!" Pittoo can be heard yelling as he saw the metal blade cut through his friend.

The body went stiff for a second at the direct shock of the hit as the arteries of his neck spurted blood out in response as to "stop" the bleeding. Most of the mahogany liquid seeped into the Homs' military uniform as well as the seats around him, some of it staining the shield of his driver as well. Pittoo looked as though he was about to cry as the body slumped forward and the older teen's head fell off his shoulders in front of him. The dark angel rushed towards the stands when the freshly decapitated body fell limp over the edge.

* * *

 **Me: TBC with 3232 words. RIP Reyn.**

 **Li: Reyn…no…**

 **Me: Oh, he's fine. Notes (and Ari helped with some of them)!**

 **1\. A daily reminder that half of Skyworld has names worshipping demonic deities like Lucifer.**

 **2\. Ari: The driver in this story that Reyn has is actually known as the "Vangarre Driver". It's one of Reyn's best weapons in the game and is described as being made as a friendship token between him and Shulk. That's why he's so concerned about it breaking because Shulk put a lot of time into making it.**

 **3\. Ari: "Last Stand" is one of Reyn's actually good auras. If activated within about three seconds of him receiving a blow that would outright kill him (it lasts about fifteen seconds but has a warm-up of about that long), he will be about to come back to life with anywhere between 30-75% of his max HP depending on the level of it. We haven't quite decided if it was level 1 or 10. It's pretty much used as his last ditch effort, hence the name.**

 **4\. Ari: One last thing. Humans tend to have a very… not quite "bright" color of red for their blood. Homs on the other hand has VERY dark colored blood. The fresh blood of a Homs tends to be about the color of dried blood for us humans, while dried Homs blood is the color of oil, but not as shiny. Enjoy your daily dose of Homs hematology. :3**

 **Y** **eah…that's Ari for you with her love for blood. She wrote that last portion obviously since I have my limits.** **That's it. Reviews are appreciated. Ja ne!**


	2. Life Without a Head Makes me Irritated

**Let's Not Lose Our Heads**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Super Smash Brothers. That goes to Nintendo. The only characters I own are those from the Golden Land, angels from Skyworld including the royal bodyguards, Angel Assembly and archangels along with all the other angels and of course the witch hunters. Finally I do not own Phantom Brave or Queen's Blade. They belong to Nippon Ichi and Hobby Japan.**

 **Summary: During a duel with one of the Angel Assembly members, Reyn gets decapitated by accident and has to be turned into a Dullahan in order for his life to be saved. His head fell off Skyworld forcing Dark Pit to search the human worlds for the missing head. Reyn only has one week left before his body officially gives up on him and he has no way of communicating with his friend. Will the two be able to find his head or are they heading for disappointing results?**

 **Pairing: Reyn/Pittoo, Pit/Melia, Robin/Shulk and implied Pit/Laharl and Ash/Cia**

 **Rated: M (for mature)**

 **Genre: Humor, Romance, Friendship, Drama and borderline Parody**

 **Warning: Swearing, memes, bad puns, sexual situations, extreme violence and unintentional OOC**

 **Another gift for Aria because she is obsessed with the idea of Reyn as a Dullahan. (And murdering people in increasingly odd ways.) Well here is how that will go in my universe. Enjoy!**

Chapter 2: Life Without a Head Makes me Irritated

* * *

 **EVENING (seventeen hundred hours)**

When you get decapitated, your life is usually over in that moment. One would have to ask what happens if you die in heaven while still alive. Where does your soul go? Does hell magically grab your soul and stuff it into a penguin suit or are you damned behind the Gates of Hell? Reyn wasn't thinking this when he died since he was shocked that his weapon didn't protect him, and he wasn't going to get answers at all when he woke up to blackness.

 _Am I dead?_ Reyn asked himself as he attempted to move his body. He could do this easily and he was able to sit up. He felt like something was missing, but he couldn't tell what. _What happened to me? Oh…I remember walking around Skyworld with Lived…he challenged that haughty angel to a duel…her axe came my way and I tried to block with my driver and then…_

Reyn's first instinct was to touch his head feeling a headache coming on for thinking too hard only to realize he was touching air. There was only smoke where he was trying to reach. Immediately, the redhead realized there was something wrong when he attempted to call for the dark angel. However, he had no mouth to speak with…and when he did say something, he felt something come out below his head region.

He could hear voices coming from the other room. Panicked voices and one he recognized that would not stop sobbing. While everything was black, Reyn could sense the aura coming from outside of the room that he would probably identify as a hospital seeing as how he heard things such as the heart monitor next to him.

"Li-Li, you need to stop crying. Everything will be okay. Flare said he'd wake up soon."

"How, do we know that Isaak?! She didn't even have the head to make sure that Reyn's life is safe! She's just letting the wheel of fortune turn! I don't want to lose him!"

The angel known as Isaak grumbled at Dark Pit's frantic state. Never had he seen the raven haired angel so freaked out in his life. He wasn't there when the event happened, but he should probably understand that watching your friend get decapitated because the angel that you hated lost her weapon and ended your friend's life would make anyone terrified. The worse part was Pit wasn't informed yet, and he would have to. Friday only told Isaak because in her state of panic, she went to her childhood friend…but at the end of the day…this would have to be reported to Pit and the angel captain was not going to be thrilled a friend of his rival was killed on his watch.

"You won't lose your friend, Li-Li. I promise you zat."

Again, Reyn wanted to know who this Isaak angel was. The minute he tried to get out of the bed, he felt the cord connecting him to the heart monitor keep him in place. This caught the attention of the angels outside seeing as there was movement in the room.

"Reyn!"

Dark Pit had rushed into the room to check on his friend. While he knew what the angel known as Flare done to his friend, he just wasn't expecting Reyn to be...without a head.

 _Lived!_ Reyn wanted to call out but again nothing came out. _Why am I blind? Where am I!_

"Li-Li, remember what Flare said? You got to stay away from your friend until he's done flailing around."

 _Flailing around? What do you mean by that?!_

Again, Reyn attempted to stand up and this time, he almost pulled the cord out of the heart monitor. Immediately, the Homs heard Isaak swear in some other foreign language before Reyn felt his entire body be electrocuted.

"What the hell Isaak!"

"Li-Li, he has to stay here until we get Flare to let him know he's awake. Can you do that?"

"Why don't you do that? He'll be calmer when I'm around!"

"...Seriously…"

The two angels glared at each other. None of them wanted to get Flare to come into the room. Seeing as how the red eyed angel wasn't going to budge, Isaak sighed in defeat as he told Dark Pit he'll be right back. Reyn was still in a state of shock, so he didn't move from the bed despite the irritating noise from the heart monitor.

"Reyn, you're going to be okay. Just...don't move...or try to talk...or anything…"

 _Then what am I supposed to do? I can't see anything! I can only feel your presence and hear you for some strange reason!_ Reyn wanted to shout. It still didn't register that he might be missing a head to not be able to communicate with the dark angel…

"Umm...Reyn...how do I put this?"

The black angel took a seat next to Reyn. The Homs first idea was to go over and hug him and demand answers for this predicament. Lived didn't speak originally making Reyn think that he was nervous to explain what happened. He honestly wanted to scream with his next words.

"...You're dead."

 _What?!_

"...You don't have a head anymore...and we don't know where it went...Friday's stupid axe killed you, but if you just moved out of the way instead of trying to be cool…"

 _What the hell do you mean by that?! I'm still here now! I can't see or talk, but I can hear you just fine! My heart's still beating...right?_

"I didn't know what to do you idiot! Darcy went to look for someone who could help you, but instead of Himeno she got Flare and now you're this...demon...without a head…"

Reyn really wouldn't believe Dark Pit until the Flare angel came into the room. He could tell she entered with this gigantic aura that radiated from her body. It sent shivers down his spine to think there was an angel with this much magic inside of her besides Dark Pit who he grown use to enough that the aura that was around him and by proxy Pit didn't affect him too much.

"Your friend is now a Dullahan." Flare spoke immediately catching Reyn's attention. "A Dullahan is a demon from the Celtic Realm. We already have our Grim Reaper's here, so I wanted to try something different seeing as how you didn't retrieve the head when it fell off of Skyworld."

"Reyn is not an experiment!" The black angel cried out. "Something could have gone wrong and you took the risk anyway!"

"He's moving now, isn't he?" Flare questioned. Reyn imagined that she was smirking when she asked this to Dark Pit. "And for your information it was you and Friday who killed him. Your duel was unauthorized and unsupervised. Someone died on your watch and the captain still isn't aware of this incident. It will be filed under both of you and let me tell you, the captain is not going to be happy with this scenario."

Dark Pit's mouth dropped as if he wanted to protest, but kept his thoughts to himself. He groaned realizing that Pit would have to tell Shulk...and that was not going to go well...at all.

"Anyways, Reyn...that's your name, right?"

 _Yes! Oh wait...if I'm without a head then…_

Now it was a time to panic for Reyn. Flare shook her head in annoyance seeing how it took the Homs this long to figure out he was without a head. His arms flailed again and it only made Flare want to burn his arms just so she could imagine that he was screaming for a legit reason.

"Being without a head isn't too bad." Flare continued. "You don't need to see anymore. You can't talk so your obnoxious voice cannot be heard and you're part of the undead. You're one step closer to working under Hades honestly...or maybe better than Hades is Thanatos."

Reyn had heard of these names before and he immediately waved his hands in front of him like he was giving the frantic "no" gesture. Flare glanced over to Dark Pit who wanted to know what Reyn was saying instead of looking at his hand gestures forcing Flare to use her powerful magic to create a small whiteboard with a black marker attached to it. She went over and shoved it over to him.

"If you want to talk, just write it down. Dullahan's usually have a way to communicate with others. One that we all know about uses a cellphone and the other one just talks normally...but given your world doesn't have such technology due to your friend refusing to get with the times and you not having your head to speak for you...this will have to do."

So Reyn was given the whiteboard to speak through writing. The first thing that he writes is something that Dark Pit imagined his first reaction would be.

" _SCREAMING._ "

The two angels facepalmed at the whiteboard before he erased it and wrote something that they couldn't read due to his bad handwriting.

"Your friend...is doomed." Flare said simply. "Unless you find his head and put it back on."

"I wish you would have told me before you forced Reyn to become a Dullahan."

"Why? I enjoy seeing you react to these situations. As the angel in charge of the Demon Division, you need to prepare for the unexpected such as your friends dying and becoming demons due to your recklessness."

Flare really wanted to see the dark angel suffer. It was why Dark Pit didn't want this powerful angel to be the one to help him save Reyn. He would have preferred if Reyn's death was brought to Palutena. He would happily take the punishment if the green haired Goddess could repair the damage he had caused. Instead, he's stuck with the wheel of fortune not being in Reyn's favor.

"How long does Reyn have?" Dark Pit asked not really wanting an answer.

"One week at best." Flare answered. "I mean, unless his head gets all messed up in the human world then that would be three days at worse."

 _"3 DAYS?!"_ Reyn wrote on the whiteboard with the number three instead of writing it out. Even if his handwriting was terrible, at least the angels could see the number.

"Oh that's just an estimate." Flare stated as he hand waved his visible panic. "If your head is kept in good condition, then seven days is enough for you and Pit's twin to find it and return it back to its original owner... _ **you.**_ "

" _Oh, so I got time?"_

"Well to be fair...today is wasted. I do not see you getting out of Skyworld until the captain knows or you learn how to move around as a Dullahan. Without a head, I can imagine this simple task being nothing but hell for you."

Reyn wanted to take Flare up to the challenge. Yes he couldn't see anything, but he could feel the aura of the angels. How difficult would it be to walk around Skyworld without falling on his face?

 _Oh wait, I don't have a face anymore._ Reyn thought to himself rather annoyed. _I don't have eyes, a nose, a mouth or even hair… at least on my head…I wonder what Lived thinks about that._

He couldn't see Li's reaction and it worried him that his young angel friend was looking at him differently now. It wasn't too far from the truth seeing as how the dark angel was too quiet for his liking.

"Dark Pit," Flare began catching the black angel's attention, "you will need to assist your friend with moving around. I estimate he already had issues with a head. Without a head, I imagine him running into walls and causing nothing but trouble for the angels in Skyworld."

"Maybe you should have turned him into something else that actually had vision without a head."

"Nah, I was thinking of you when I turned him into a Dullahan." Flare said simply.

"H-Huh? Why?"

Flare smirked as she pointed to Reyn's body specifically his lower region. "Despite not having a brain, the blood is still flowing through his body. Without a head, it's going to go to his lower regions. I hope you'll enjoy your new boytoy."

Dark Pit blinked before his eyes widened in horror at what she was telling him. He tried to hide the crimson blush from his face, but only Flare would see it anyway.

"You are worse than I imagined…"

"Well, young boys like you have to learn to experiment with new things."

" _I resent being called a thing!"_ Reyn wrote not completely registering the conversation at hand. _"So, when am I allowed to leave? I want to find my head immediately!"_

"Note to self: Write shorter sentences. With your shit handwriting, I barely can register what you wrote." The powerful angel reminded the redhead Homs. "Today is a wasted day for you. Just learn how to walk. You're free to leave the hospital, but you're not leaving to the human world." She smirked as she turned her attention back to Dark Pit. "I can probably pinpoint where the head is for you, but it will cost you a fortune Dark Pit."

"...You know I don't care about hearts. I just want to save Reyn...it is my fault after all."

"I'm glad you acknowledge what a nuisance you are." Flare stated rather happily. "Isaak has already went off to talk to Pit about the situation. I will be seeing you tomorrow with the locations of where the head could be."

The dark angel remained quiet as the graceful angel dismissed herself from the hospital room leaving him with his now Dullahan friend.

" _Now what?"  
_  
Reyn could hear Dark Pit let out a huge sigh as a response.

"...I'll take you back to the temple. Even though Flare said that Isaak went to tell Pitstain...I'm pretty sure he's on a mission with that Mothman witch hunter concerning meeting his fiancé."

" _Pit's engaged?!"_

"Don't act all surprised. Everyone knows that. He just doesn't want to bring it up when he's cheating on said fiancé with everyone else."

Reyn was silent trying to imagine Dark Pit's reaction to that. He pictured the raven haired angel rather annoyed with Pit, but then again...his tone of voice didn't match up to Pit's actions.

"Come on, you headless idiot. Let's get out of here. It's going to get dark soon and I don't want to be walking around Skyworld at night."

" _Skyworld has a day and night cycle?"_

"We have been through this, Reyn...that's because of the weather angels."

" _Wait...what…"_

"Don't...ask. Just follow me."

Dark Pit stood up from his chair and waited by the door. Since Reyn was no longer attached to any cords, he was free to move around. Once he got off the bed, he took his first step. So far so good...but because Dark Pit didn't move the chair when he got up, Reyn ended up toppling over the chair and landing on his belly.

 _Oww._

Again, Dark Pit facepalmed seeing his friend fall down before they left the room. This was going to be a long and irritating night.

* * *

 **EVENING (Twenty hundred hours)**

Going back to Palutena's Temple should have only taken one hour despite it being a straight line from Helel to Eden. Dark Pit added the hour due to Reyn's circumstance, but one hour became three hours with one hour wasted in the hospital. Tripping over the chair should have been a sign of how long it would take to leave the hospital. Reyn could not see anything at all. This meant he crashed into everything while trying to keep up with the dark angel, and the only reason he could see Lived was because of the aura radiating from him. There were other angels there, so when he wasn't bumping into the wall or random hospital objects placed in the hallway...he would crash into other angels who worked at the hospital. A few times, he went into the wrong room despite the fact Dark Pit's aura was in the opposite direction and overall did not move for a couple of minutes when he fell down the stairs.

The next two hours should have been simple, but when you have Reyn stumbling over his own feet and too many angels being distracted with Dark Pit walking around with a headless Homs to the point they refused to move out of the way to stare and ogle at the disaster before them...then yeah things were going to take forever to get to Palutena's Temple.

This was what Pittoo hated about angel society. They always judged him for his appearance and who he hung out with. Pit got the same look, but unlike the younger twin, Pit was capable of silencing their negative impressions of him. If Dark Pit didn't have places to go, he would have told an arrogant couple to shut up while he rushed to the temple. Three hours was too long and instead of just teaching Reyn how to walk again like a toddler, he just grabbed Reyn by the hand and ran full speed toward the seventh division.

Why was it the seventh division instead of the fifth division though? Dark Pit honestly just needed to relax. He also wanted to avoid Arachne and Kaguya who were probably informed about the incident and were waiting for him to come to them. Dark Pit's childish side was showing and wanted to avoid the older women for the reason of being scolded by them for letting Reyn die so quickly and so easily. At the thought of being lectured, he let go of Reyn's hand after reaching their destination.

" _Where are we now?"_ Reyn asked him not knowing if the dark angel was even looking at the whiteboard. _"I don't think this is your room."  
_  
Dark Pit looked back at Reyn after hearing the squeaking noise from the marker.

"Of course this isn't my room. This is the hot spring area...it's Aqua's division."

 _"Huh? Water?"_

"That's her name. Pit thought it would be humorous to give the water angel a section of the division meant for hot springs. She wasn't really happy that her role was demoted to his sexual entertainment."

So now that Reyn knew where the two were, the first stupid idea that came to mind was literally about the dark angel.

 _He's going to strip...and I'm not going to see anything…_

It was probably bad for Reyn to have these quick thoughts. Pit had warned Reyn multiple times to not get any funny ideas about his younger twin. Pittoo had sworn a chastity vow to the Mother of the Universe that was meant to chase off the angel suitors that wanted him for themselves. As a result of that dumb vow, the dark angel wasn't allowed to have sexual encounters with anyone unlike Pit who was free to screw everything and anything. The white angel thought that if he warned Reyn in advance that he wouldn't be dumb enough to actually consider him a romantic love interest. Reyn...wasn't smart in that sense so of course he'll have these random ideas pop up...and it was never pleasant for him seeing as how he'll end up with an awkward erection for the rest of the day unless he got time alone to himself...and that wasn't often when he was visiting his friend seeing as how he was hanging out with Lucina and Lucas too.

Reyn flinched hearing Dark Pit's tunic hit the floor. If he had a head, he would probably be blushing right about now. All he could do was imagine how thin the young angel was. In the back of his mind, Pit's body was the same and he would often catch the light angel working out with Shulk in secret (that implication always made him wonder what was the real relationship between the two). He was never really attracted to Pit's body though that was probably more toned than Dark Pit anyway seeing as how he was shown to work out more. The idea of seeing Dark Pit naked only excited him.

"Reyn...is something the matter?"

And now Reyn realized how much he wanted his head back but not for the reason he imagined. He could hear the dark angel getting into the hot spring, but he seemed to be carrying something. Reyn only realized what it was when the water was splashed all over him.

 _Agrhhhh! Cold!_

"What the hell Reyn! You may not be able to see me, but you still end up getting a stupid boner! Honestly, you have to stop that or I'll make you wait outside the bath! I trust you enough so you won't get a stupid mental image about me!"

Reyn fidgeted with his whiteboard mainly because he felt like the black pen was going to fall out of his hand. What he wrote couldn't really be read seeing as how the water was sliding down onto his message.

" _SORRY! I'M SORRY!_ "

Again, Dark Pit sighed before he went back into the water. Reyn could easily strip and go in with him, but the redhead was fine with just standing outside of the hot spring like a damp puppy instead of getting into the hot water. Then again, the hot spring might give him another erection especially if his intentions included sitting next to the dark angel and attempt to get Pittoo to sit on his lap.

"Reyn, do you want to get splashed again?! Seriously!"

This was probably going to be a recurring event every night and Reyn really wasn't looking forward to the blood rushing to his groin every time he thought of something perverted about Dark Pit. He better learn how to move around as a Dullahan or he's going to end up deader than dead...probably from Pit if he wasn't careful.

* * *

 **Me: TBC with 4284 words.**

 **Li:…**

 **Me: See? Reyn's fine. He's just going to have a lot of boners now. Hope you find the head soon. Notes!**

 **1\. If you wonder why Reyn can still hear everyone despite not having a head, think of Celty from Durarara. As pointed out here, the two Dullahans I bring up are indeed Celty who exists in the modern earth of the Kid Icarus realm and Lala the Dullahan from the Monster Musume anime.**

 **2\. A heads up that when Reyn is talking via whiteboard that it will be in Italics with quotation marks, but when he's thinking to himself or when he's trying to speak and forgets he doesn't have a mouth to speak through its just plain Italics. He doesn't have vocal cords either due to how half of his neck is gone.**

 **3\. Flare is obviously mean-spirited. She is Aqua's vice captain and is of the rare Summoner class hence why she is able to save Reyn rather easily. She's a fortuneteller hence the reference to the wheel of fortune. I didn't describe her appearance since its kind of from Reyn's POV. Flare's appearance is that of a Japanese priestess.**

 **That's it. Reviews are appreciated. Ja ne!**


	3. Do You Have a Ghost of a Chance?

**Let's Not Lose Our Heads**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Super Smash Brothers. That goes to Nintendo. The only characters I own are those from the Golden Land, angels from Skyworld including the royal bodyguards, Angel Assembly and archangels along with all the other angels and of course the witch hunters. Finally I do not own Phantom Brave or Queen's Blade. They belong to Nippon Ichi and Hobby Japan.**

 **Summary: During a duel with one of the Angel Assembly members, Reyn gets decapitated by accident and has to be turned into a Dullahan in order for his life to be saved. His head fell off Skyworld forcing Dark Pit to search the human worlds for the missing head. Reyn only has one week left before his body officially gives up on him and he has no way of communicating with his friend. Will the two be able to find his head or are they heading for disappointing results?**

 **Pairing: Reyn/Pittoo, Pit/Melia, Robin/Shulk and implied Pit/Laharl and Ash/Cia**

 **Rated: M (for mature)**

 **Genre: Humor, Romance, Friendship, Drama and borderline Parody**

 **Warning: Swearing, memes, bad puns, sexual situations, extreme violence and unintentional OOC**

 **Another gift for Aria because she is obsessed with the idea of Reyn as a Dullahan. (And murdering people in increasingly odd ways.) Well here is how that will go in my universe. Enjoy!**

Chapter 3: Do You Have a Ghost of a Chance?

* * *

 **MORNING (Nine hundred hours)**

Reyn didn't recall when he fell asleep. Did Dullahan's really need to sleep when they were already dead? What was he doing before then?

 _Oh yeah...I was in the hot springs with Lived. Umm...how many times did I get turned on in there? I think...he might have eventually got tired and knocked me out…how would he knock me out?_

Reyn didn't get his questions answered. The first thing he noticed was something was sitting in between his legs and resting against his chest. At first Reyn thought that Dark Pit had decided to sleep on top of him. This would have been the perfect scenario for him to trace his hands through the dark angel's hair before Pittoo woke up so they can start the day together. Alas...there was one problem though…

He was getting that spider sense...like the person on top of him was not the black angel. In fact…he noticed immediately it was a demonic aura on top of him. There were no demons in heaven except...

"Zzzzz…"

Reyn felt his entire body freeze hearing that voice. This was made worse by how he felt the person rub his or her legs in between his groin giving him a morning erection immediately. This was far from good as the person spoke.

"Morning sunshine. You're looking better than ever."

Reyn could not scream. Instead, he flailed on the bed he was on trying to get the person off of him. He desperately searched for his whiteboard just so he can write that he was screaming loudly. This person found this hilarious and giggled.

"Oh, Reyn. Even in death you're still scared of me. How did you know it was me sleeping with you all night?"

 _AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_

 _AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_

 _WHHHHHHHHHHHHY?!_

All of the above was what he wrote down on the whiteboard. The person noticed immediately that his internal screaming had effectively caused his boner to disappear.

"Come on, Reyn. You should know Arachne is your neighborhood friendly spider girl. Also your boner is gone. What a shame. Would have helped you there."

Reyn couldn't even write a coherent sentence at this point. His hand was shaking and he wanted to run far away from the spider demon that was in front of him. He would have turned red from embarrassment and blue from fear from Arachne's teasing if he had his head.

"Oh come on, big boy. You know that I'll only have sex with you if you say yes...but since you don't have a head...it's kind of hard for me to rub my naked body against yours."

Arachne was enjoying teasing Reyn. He just dropped his whiteboard at that point and fell to his knees. He attempted to get in a position as if protecting his head...except he only touched the air. Arachne's laughter was enough for Dark Pit to come into the room annoyed.

"Come on Arachne...really? Can you not mess with him right now?"

"Oh, come on! I just screwed around with Kaguya yesterday. It took her all morning to get out of my sticky web."

"I...don't want to know...just don't drag Reyn into your BDSM life."

The happy face spider demon continued to laugh as Dark Pit helped Reyn off the floor. The Homs recognized his savior and immediately jumped up like a happy puppy feeling his master's aura.

"Pick up your whiteboard, Reyn. We have a meeting to attend." Dark Pit told him rather annoyed. "I...really don't want to deal with anyone about what happened to you right now…"

"Don't worry, Li. I got you covered." Arachne told him softly only causing the black angel to roll his eyes.

"Sure you do...next time don't sleep with Reyn without telling me next time."

"Aww, someone is jealous."

"Exactly you stupid spider troll…"

* * *

When you're as hardheaded as Reyn, you'll find ways to survive a fall from Skyworld. The funny thing is that Reyn's head didn't fall into the Overworld like it should have. There was the section in between heaven and earth and because there were two earth's that the Goddess of Light looked after, it would take some time for the head to land on safe ground...period.

There is also the fact that because there is an inbetween section that the wind could easily pick up the head and blow it to some other realm in the universe. That is what happened to Reyn's head. The wind carried his unconscious head all the way to a realm full of nothing but islands. It was near the Netherworld, so it was safe to say that Reyn's head was this close to going to hell.

The head was fortunate enough to have a soft landing on one of the major islands. Landing in the sand softened the landing, but not by much. It was just enough to wake Reyn up from his slumber.

"Oww...where am I?" Was the first thing Reyn asked himself only to realize that everything seemed so big. There was also the fact that there were many animal like beings walking around from pigs, werewolves and owl demons. "Hey, I could use some help here! My body is stuck in the sand!"

Everyone ignored his calls for help causing the redhead to get annoyed.

"Hey! Don't ignore me! I'm stuck in the...huh?!"

When the head bounced upon trying to approach a random owl demon from behind, it caused Reyn to stop immediately and look down. His body was gone and it was only the head. How was this even possible?

"EHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?!"

How did he end up like this? The only reason no one was reacting is they assumed he was some humanoid being stuck in the sand probably due to some dumb kids burying him when he was asleep. In other words...it wasn't their problem.

 _Reyn, don't panic. Remember what happened that got you to this point. You were with Lived and he took you to Skyworld! He got into a fight with some haughty angel and they had a duel. Lived pretty much won when he unarmed her but the axe went in my direction. I tried to block with the driver but not only did it crack but I lost my head...oh...so that explains why I'm just a head. But where's my body? Why am I still alive and able to talk? Urghh I wish Shulk was here to explain things for me. I'm not used to thinking this much._

Because Reyn isn't use to thinking, he did what he usually did best. Think about his stomach that he no longer had. Even without a stomach, he could still smell the wonderful aroma in the air. Was he near a restaurant? If that's the case, he should not think about his predicament and go eat. What was the problem doing that while he waiting for Dark Pit to come get him? Surely his friend noticed that he was without a head and would solve everything for him.

* * *

Reyn's head was asking too much of Dark Pit though. The black angel would be stuck handling the consequences of his actions to go for Reyn's head right away.

Pit and Palutena needed to be informed of the incident. The angel captain had traveled to the Underworld for a "meeting" with someone that he had to communicate with and Palutena's main focus was on him to the point that she actually teleported herself to where Pit was to make sure the white angel would not flee from the mission. Dark Pit wondered what was so serious that she needed to go with her precious angel captain, but when they returned, it was obvious to know what was the real reason behind the Goddess of Light's descent into the Netherworld.

Every angel knew that Pit was engaged to the Netherworld Prince at a young age. The estimated time was when Palutena first took Pit under her wing and right before the Netherworld Prince was born. Naturally this contract was made by the Goddess of Light and the King of the Netherworld at the time. Unfortunately, when the king passed away, the contract could no longer be reversed due to one side being well...dead. The only way for the contract to be nullified was if the Goddess of Light bit the dust, but seeing how powerful she was...that would be an impossible task. Pit had always looked for ways around the engagement due to not agreeing to the marriage when the contract was signed. The Netherworld Prince himself was kept in the dark about the engagement until he was considered mature enough to handle the topic.

Palutena had apparently forced the topic once the maid that Pit used to date spilt the beans to the demon prince. He reacted as any child would when they are told that they will be married off to someone they don't even know much less like due to rumors. He threw a huge child tantrum and proceeded to massacre many locations in the Netherworld until he forced to calm down. The demons wouldn't take that as seriously, but they did get headaches from how the prince reacted and facepalms for how dumb he was being.

This entire week was supposed to be forcing Pit and the prince to get to know each other and for Pit to at least try and get along with said prince if they weren't going to marry for another 500 years anyway due to angel law forbidding marriage between someone under than 1800 years old unless special circumstances occurred.

Pit and Palutena didn't bring back just the Netherworld prince to Skyworld. They brought along his little sister as well who at least knew her way around Skyworld due to being an angel...and Dark Pit will forever question how it was possible for a demon father and a human mother to have a demon boy and an angel girl.

The prince was none other than the Netherworld Prince Laharl. He was notorious for being a brat and declaring himself the strongest demon that the Netherworld had to offer. He wasn't a slouch in battle, but he was still young and immature. Dark Pit was glad that despite his chronological age that he was 1000 times more mature than the young Overworld would ever be. From his appearance, Dark Pit assumed that Laharl was a young incubus seeing as how the succubus/incubus race wore as little as possible and Laharl didn't bother to wear a shirt even when he was going to Skyworld. He was going to get those odd looks because the only thing he bothered to wear included a red scarf and red pants. Laharl didn't care as he trounced around the heaven's proudly. He looked more adorable than menacing seeing as the blue haired antennas he had were bouncing up and down with each step.

His sister in contrast looked to be an angel rookie with a cute angelic dress colored white with some sky blue on it. Her hair almost looked identical to her big brother's except that she was a brunette and tied her hair in a ribbon like way to make it seem like she was more of a bunny than a bug. Compared to her arrogant brother, she was an adorable little sister...and Dark Pit would probably be forced to get along with her if Pit and Laharl were going to be married in the future.

There was only one problem...it wasn't just Pit that was informed of what happened with Reyn. Apparently, word caught on and reached the ears of the Goddess of Nature who proceeded to tell the inhabitants of Bionis about what had happened to Reyn. By inhabitants that mainly included Shulk, Dunban and Melia. If Fiora were to find out…

When Pit and Shulk arrived at the same time due to the same news…

"YOU GOT MY FRIEND KILLED, YOU JERK!"

"I JUST GOT HERE, YOU STUPID ALIEN!"

The two broke out into a fight almost immediately. So much for the angel captain attempting to be mature in front of his fiancé and so much for Shulk keeping his promise to his friends that he wouldn't lose his cool when he saw the light angel. This wasn't really helped how Laharl was insisting that Pit punch the blond Homs in the face seeing that Pit was capable of losing his temper even in front of him.

"Pit, please!" Palutena shouted. "You had your chance to punch him during Smash! Not right now!"

The funny thing is how Pit didn't have to restrain himself to not lay a finger on Shulk. The Monado boy in comparison had to be restrained by the other Smasher who tagged along with his boyfriend. Pit didn't even know that the male tactician had followed Shulk to Bionis during the small break, so seeing how the small body was able to restrain someone like Shulk. When Shulk's temper went off, it was harder for him to calm down especially if it concerned Pit.

"You still killed my friend…" Shulk growled as he listened to Rob's soothing words and stopped struggling.

"I just got here." Pit repeated. "I was enjoying a _lovely_ dinner with my bratty fiancé here and then was told that your idiot friend got ahead of himself and well...you see that he is a Dullahan now."

"A Dulla-what?" Shulk wondered out loud as he looked over to his best friend who just shrugged his shoulders at the term used.

"Dullahan. A spirit and a headless rider of some sorts." Dunban explained. "Shulk, I would think you would know that term by now."

"Err…"

Pit just snickered as a response. Of course, he wouldn't be able to smile long because of the two brats that followed him back to Skyworld.

"Wow, you're a real life Dullahan! That's so cool!" Sicily exclaimed getting up close and personal to Reyn. "How do you even manage?"

"He's not…" Dark Pit muttered darkly. "His head fell off of Skyworld…and another angel is currently tracking its whereabouts down."

"He doesn't have a head, but I assume he wasn't the most attractive person anyway." Laharl said as a matter of fact statement.

" _What the hell did you just say?!"_ Reyn wrote down not liking this bratty voice at all.

"I can't read that shit." Laharl responded to Reyn's terrible handwriting. "One of you peasants translate that for me."

Melia rolled up her sleeves at the insult. Dunban pressed his hand on her shoulder. "Lady Melia, please."

"Your fiancé needs to learn some manners, Pit." Melia snarked seeing as how everything Laharl said and did reflected on Pit now.

"Well, he's got a point. I can't read that either."

"You can't read... _period_." Dark Pit reminded his older twin. "Who taught Reyn how to write?"

"Himself." Dunban answered. "That's what he gets for skipping school all the bloody time. He probably wishes he didn't now seeing as how he can't talk."

Dunban almost sounded amused at Reyn's predicament. Sure he was worried hearing it originally, but seeing Reyn's current state, it wasn't too bad after all.

"This is getting nowhere." Palutena interrupted seeing as how the information was just going to get ignored in favor of Pit and Shulk's rivalry. "I cannot even introduce your brother and sister in law to you under these circumstances Dark Pit."

"Sorry Palutena…" The dark angel apologized knowing that this conflict was still his fault even if Pit and Shulk refused to acknowledge that and blame each other (even if Shulk didn't do anything). "May I be dismissed? I mean...I was going to search for the head so this wouldn't be an issue but…"

"...Yes." Palutena answered. "You are dismissed now. I hope you find the head as soon as possible Dark Pit. There are bigger...more important things to talk about instead of your Homs friend losing his head over his own stupidity I assume."

Reyn wanted to die right there at her insult. Wait...he was already dead. Could he die again though? If the Goddess of Light was insulting him for his flaw then…

"Li, you don't have to wait anymore." Arachne finally spoke to the dark angel catching his attention. "I just got word that Flare has located the head. You and Reyn can go to Phantom Isle to retrieve it. I mean...our good friend Ash probably has the exact location of where Reyn's head is."

" _Really?!"_ Reyn wrote down happily. _"YES! These head jokes can stop now, right?!"  
_  
In all honesty...probably not. Finding the head was better than dealing with the bitter rivalry between angel and alien along with being introduced to his demon (and angel) family of the future. Naturally, you would think Viridi would be involved with transporting the two to Skyworld, but with how annoyed Palutena was...that wasn't going to happen this time around. This would force the two to head to Angelus and go through the angelic door that would allow them to pick a human world destination and go there.

Before they could get to the door...Dark Pit would have to guide Reyn through Angelus from Palutena's Temple. At least Palutena would be kind enough to activate the Power of Flight for Dark Pit when it was time to reach their destination. The dark angel just considered dropping the body once they were over the island. Reyn was already dead so there wouldn't be a problem...right?

* * *

 **AFTERNOON (Thirteen hundred hours)**

Phantom Isle and all of Ivoire had been at peace after the defeat of Sulphur. Things have started to look up for the little necromancer girl known as Marona. She had friends now, she was no longer despised for her mysterious powers and she was hailed as a hero. Now she could go back to a peaceful life with her phantom friend Ash and continue the job as a Chroma.

Ash wasn't alone anymore in terms of having no one to talk to besides Marona and Castille. While it didn't happen in this particular timeline, he recalled a beautiful woman washing up on the shore of Phantom Isle. He and Marona had nursed her back to health and despite her antagonistic attitude toward them, Ash had grown to like this beautiful women. Even when she would flee in shame of her past, they would eventually reunite. Ash had made it his goal that time to be with her again and help her heal the wounds of her heart.

That woman was Cia who despite her crimes was still the Guardian of Time in Hyrule to a certain extent. No one wanted anything to do with her or Lana, but at the very least she was able to keep her title and her life if she did not fuck up again and by fuck up that meant starting another war. Cia had spent most of her time being a protector to a certain black winged angel along with her lighter half Lana instead of focusing on the problems that Hyrule was facing. It was safer and Cia was allowed to take breaks from that job too like right now. Since she and Lana were not allowed to go to Skyworld under any circumstance due to Cia's crime in Hyrule, the next location they could stay at was with Ash and Marona on Phantom Isle. Marona had already told Cia in the past that she was always welcome to return. The white haired sorcerer never took to her words back then, but overtime the wounds of her heart started to heal...she finally decided to return to Ash more confident in her feelings for him than when they first met in that one particular timeline. Ash's feelings for her were strong enough that it didn't matter if it was a different timeline or if Cia forcibly erased them so he wouldn't suffer...he could never fall out of love with her now...and Lana was so happy for Cia as a result seeing Cia let go of Link.

Cia wanted to spend the entire week with Ash before going back to watching Dark Pit from the shadows again. Unfortunately, the vacation would be cut short when a dead body landed on Lana when she was carrying a huge watermelon that Marona couldn't possibly carry.

"Deadweight incoming." Ash snarked when Lana fell deep into the sand because of the dead body.

Cia had to remember that Ash was dead therefore seeing a dead body fall from the sky wasn't anything new for him. Poor Lana was screaming bloody murder mainly because she couldn't get the body off of her.

"Wahhh! Cia! Get this thing off of me!"

" _I am not a thing."_ The body writes as he shows it to Lana earning another scream because she thought it was a dead body...not a dead body capable of writing sentences despite the sloppy handwriting. _"Lana, stop screaming."_

"Oh, it's the brainless idiot." Cia snarked glancing at the body and seeing that it matched the muscular Homs who had a high rate of ending up in a relationship with Dark Pit if Lucina didn't get to the black angel first. "...And he is without a brain."

"And a head." Ash added. "What happened to him? Did I just receive another friend after being dead for so long?"

 _"Ash...stop…"_ Reyn wrote as he got off of Lana seeing as she wouldn't stop flailing around until he did. _"I wasn't born like this and I don't intend to stay as a being of the undead!"_

"Bummer…" Ash murmured almost disappointed.

" _DON'T SOUND SO DISAPPOINTED!"_

At that point, Dark Pit had landed safely on the ground. Marona had just came out of her house to see the chaos going on in front of her. She tilted her head in confusion at the newcomers.

"Oh, are you friends of Ash or Ms. Cia?" She asked cutely as she approached them completely unphased at Dullahan Reyn. "If you are...then it's a pleasure to meet you two."

 _"...You're not scared of me little girl?"_ Reyn asked very confused with how she was acting.

"Why would I be?"

" _I have no head."_

"Ash is dead. How is that any different?"

"Thanks Marona." Ash grumbled at her bluntness. "Anyways, this is Dark Pit or Lived Twilight. The idiot without a head is Reyn…"

" _Can we stop calling me an idiot even if it's true?"_ Reyn asked getting annoyed with Ash's sarcasm really fast. _"Also, hi Lana and Cia."_

Lana was still getting over the fact that a dead body fell on her and she lost the watermelon in the sand. Cia just waved casually at Reyn before glancing at Dark Pit who was far from happy.

"What do you need?" Cia asked trying to put up her cold and haughty attitude toward Dark Pit but obviously failing seeing as how the black angel was never affected by this attitude.

"As you two can see, Reyn is a Dullahan now because he lost his head. Apparently his head is here in Ivoire and I was hoping you would help me search for it. If we don't find it in six days, Reyn will actually die. I don't know about you, but I don't want his soul to be given to Hades or for Reyn to end up a Prinny because that stupid accident."

"Oh, so he just didn't wake up as a Dullahan." The phantom commented. "That really is a shame."

" _No, it's not!"_ Reyn wrote on the whiteboard. _"I can't even walk around properly without my head! I can't eat properly, drink properly or sleep properly! The only thing this body does better now without the head is getting nonstop boners!"_

"Too much information and shorter messages." Dark Pit snarked. "Also, erase that before Marona reads it!"

Not like Marona knew what Reyn was talking about anyway. Ash swore that if Marona asked him later what that was, he would need to think of something witty without humiliating himself.

Cia was probably the only one laughing at this point. If Reyn knew which aura belonged to Cia's, he would have punched her for not taking this situation seriously. She had the same problem as Dark Pit though...in which that Cia and Lana had the same aura like the angel twins did. Reyn didn't know that until that fight in Skyworld though...which was why he knew he needed to be more cautious now.

"If it's finding that stupid head, ask Ash. I wouldn't know a thing about some filthy head here." Cia mocked causing Reyn to internally growl at her insults.

" _You and Ash are a match made in hell."_ Reyn wrote on the whiteboard causing Cia to laugh louder than usual.

"I'll take that as a compliment, thanks."

Ash stood up though wanting to help Dark Pit with his mission. "I'll check the mail to see if any missions pertaining to a head popped up."

The phantom wouldn't need to do something like that seeing as how a boat was pulling into Phantom Isle. Marona recognized the person who was coming toward them and waved happily.

"Papa Caudron, welcome!"

Dark Pit literally thought that it was her father that returned...but when he saw that it was a huge blue shark...he had this nagging feeling that Caudron was Marona's biological father. Caudron being a shark also probably explained why he wasn't affected by a phantom, an angel that looked like a crow demon or a Dullahan.

"Why hello my little Maronakins." The shark hummed as he got off the boat and scooped the little up into the air. Yes he was capable of treating her like an adult, but he was being more affectionate than usual today.

"Maronakins?" Dark Pit asked Cia who just shrugged her shoulders.

"Don't ask." Cia said simply.

"Caudron, what brings you here without warning?" Ash questioned casually.

"Oh Ash. Pleasant day, ain't it?"

 _I wouldn't know. I can't feel anything in this dead body._ Ash snarked darkly to himself hoping the shark will get to the point.

"Actually, there is a special mission that came up just for Maronakins. Apparently it has to do with a talking head moving around the bigger island. Of course, I told them that someone else could handle it but…"

Dark Pit smirked hearing "head" come out of the shark's mouth. This was going to be easier than he thought.

* * *

Reyn should have been happy when he heard that his head was found immediately after arriving on Phantom Isle. That meant that he wouldn't have to run around like a headless chicken anymore.

The problem is that there are still five more chapters to go in this story and if Reyn got his head right here, that would be a boring story according to the author, so this is what happened instead of the simplified ending the author originally had.

The head had done more damage than intended when accused of being a monster. Reyn's head just wanted to reunite with his body while also desiring to try out the new food in Ivoire. People were screaming for the head to go away causing Reyn to bounce around when people attempted to treat his head like a ball. The redhead was surprised at how well he could bounce without a body and was able to get away from the restaurant.

This was enough to alert the highest ranking guilds in all of Ivoire especially when people were convinced that the head was a part of the evil Sulphur. The White Wolf Raven Guild's leader who was also known as one of the Nine Swords of Ivoire was summoned to deal with the head.

Raphael was a very serious man who did all in his power to protect the people from harm. After what happened with Sulphur he dedicated himself to becoming stronger so more people wouldn't have to die. Yes, Marona had dealt with Sulphur so the terrible monster wouldn't torment them again, but it was always best to be careful.

Reyn's head was not expecting a holy sword to be pointed at his face.

"Hey, what gives? I haven't done anything?"

"You have terrorized the people of Ivoire, destroyed a restaurant with your hard head and you bailed out said restaurant without paying the bill. It is by those crimes alone that I must eliminate you."

"Hey! That meal was left out on the counter! I was just helping myself because the customer wasn't going to eat it! They left the tip and everything too so that's free food for me! No harm done to you!"

The head was proven to be smarter than the body...that was for sure. The problem is he was dealing with someone who was no nonsense in Ivoire. By the time Dark Pit's group had reached their destination, Raphael had sent the head flying.

"BE GONE FOUL DEMON!"

Reyn's head had no way of defending himself. One swing from the holy sword Heliotrope was enough to send his head flying until it was a shooting star in the sky. Reyn's body collapsed seeing his head fly farther and farther away until he was certain that it was no longer on this planet.

"The head is blasting off!" Lana declared happily as she did a little dance earning a facepalm from her older twin and the phantom next to her.

"Lana…" Cia growled. "That is not a good thing."

"Huh? Why?"

"Besides the head not really atoning for it's crime here...that just means more work for us." Ash answered with a sigh. "I'm so glad I'm not just a head."

Ash only said that because Dark Pit and Marona went over to Reyn's body that would probably be crying if he had eyes. The whiteboard just had an emoticon of a sad face in tears on it and below it read, "gross sobbing". Raphael was confused why this particular group was upset that evil had been vanquished, but Marona would end up telling him once Reyn stopped feeling sorry for himself.

* * *

 **EVENING** **(Twenty-one hundred hours)**

No matter how many times Pittoo complained to Marona about how the head was nowhere to be found and how he was forced to help the Guilds repair the damage the head did, Pittoo wasn't going to get his day back. By the time he was done helping everyone out (Reyn couldn't do much without a head. He spent more time knocking things over forcing Lana to be the one to watch over the Dullahan), it was already nine in the evening. Dark Pit's muscles were sore and he just wanted a break. If this was how things were going to be for the next couple of days until they retrieved the head then he wanted out immediately.

This was why Dark Pit had dragged Reyn's dead body over to the bar in Evangelion called Safe Haven. Reyn had to remind himself that Dark Pit was not Pit's age. Pit has implied multiple times that Dark Pit was younger than him despite being twins, but Reyn didn't know how much. That whole replica thing probably had to do with Dark Pit being the younger twin, but Pittoo wasn't going to just say what his age was. Regardless, the angel in charge of the bar knew Dark Pit wasn't old enough and gave him Holy Milk instead of the actual wine.

"I wish you didn't have to give me milk that was so...thick…" Dark Pit complained while gulping the cup of milk down his throat.

"Well, that's the only thing that's left at this hour. I'll get something else tomorrow." Siris told him before looking at Reyn. "Besides, if you don't want it...just shove it down that Dullahan's throat. He can still take beverages."

"Umm…"

"How old is this young man by the way?"

" _18."_ Reyn wrote down for Siris to see. _"I'm legal in Colony 9."_

"Oh, okay...you are at the legal age of drinking for your alien species. Unlike this kid next to you."

"Hey!" Dark Pit shouted. "Please keep my age to yourself!"

"If I actually cared about the age, you two would have been kicked out since neither of you are 2100 or 21 in human years." Siris reminded him causing both of them to flinch at the icy tone he had at that moment. "Anyways, I'll make an exception for your friend. Drink of the Gods coming right up."

Reyn had a feeling that he was going to be sick...could Dullahans get sick without a head though?

Dark Pit ended up focusing on the blond angel serving them. From the back, Siris was really feminine...and in general Siris was an effeminate looking angel. His skin is pale as snow and it went well with his blue eyes and short blond hair. Unfortunately, Siris felt the need to hide his nice body with a tunic specifically designed like a winter coat. The hood often hid his face from everyone and even during warm weather, he refused to take it off. It made Dark Pit wonder what he was hiding underneath those heavy clothing.

"If you keep staring at me, you'll make your boyfriend jealous." Siris teased as he came back with a wine class and the Drink of the Gods.

"Not you too…" The black angel murmured as he slammed the glass down on the table.

" _Boyfriend? Who?"_ Reyn foolishly asked Dark Pit causing his friend to growl at the question.

"No one…"

"Ehh...I thought you decided on Isaak to keep the suitors off." Siris commented causing both of them to flinch. "Then again, I can see why you would have a Dullahan as a boyfriend. He has a nice body. Too bad there's no handsome face to go with it."

" _I resent that statement!"_ Reyn declared as he shoved the whiteboard in Siris' face.

"Which one? Isaak being the kid's best love interest or you not being handsome?"

" _THE 2_ _ND_ _1!"_

Dark Pit flinched hearing Reyn wasn't really upset at Isaak being labeled his love interest. Many of the angels assumed that to be the case because Isaak was more of a gentleman around the dark angel then he was the many other women he had flirted with. It's almost like Dark Pit tamed him without trying. In the past, Dark Pit probably would have been flattered at being the one for Isaak, but as of late...he honestly didn't feel that.

"...Dummy…"

Reyn looked at Dark Pit in confusion wondering what Dark Pit just murmured. When he wasn't getting a response and only heard Pittoo's glass be filled up with more Holy Milk, Reyn decided to try his luck with the Drink of the Gods. This included taking the glass and pouring it down where his head use to be. It was such an odd feeling when the drink went down his throat but then a horrible realization hit him. He had no taste buds therefore could not taste the drink. Siris might have noticed that hence why he chuckled seeing Reyn's body react badly.

"Ha-ha-ha. Your friend is funny, Li. He's trying to taste what Dionysus made...ha-ha-ha…"

"Fucking idiot…"

 _Dionysis? The oldest guy in Colony 9?_ Reyn wondered to himself. _Is he already dead?_

As Reyn put the glass back on the table, someone else came barging into the bar. Now there were other angels in the bar who pretty much ignored the fact that Siris was serving underage patrons, but the minute the menacing angel from the Angel Assembly appeared, the happy dialogue going on between the jolly angels in the background seized. Both Siris and Dark Pit glared at the newcomer while Reyn looked around the room wondering where everyone was staring at.

"...Gaston…" Dark Pit growled as he suddenly felt himself become smaller suddenly. "Why the hell are you here?"

Gaston was a tall, buff angel that looked like he was on steroids. He had short blond hair and blue eyes that gave the infamous stereotype a bad name. His tunic was ripped due to his muscles. He had two large gloves on both of his hands, but the one feature Dark Pit hated the most about him was the goatee on his chin that he kept around like a badge because of the interpretation that he looked manlier with it.

"Oh, it's the little clone. I just wanted to see my best buddy Siris here. He's going to finish up for the night soon anyway."

Did Dark Pit mention that out of all the angels in heaven, he hated Gaston the most? This man had made his life so miserable when trying to adapt to angel society. He did all in his power to get Pit removed from his position and to do that he pursued the dark angel romantically. No matter how many times Dark Pit said he wasn't interested in Gaston or his goons, they kept coming back to get into his pants. As of late, they have tried some more extreme tactics to get him to comply to their demands. It was why Dark Pit enjoyed staying in Smash Brothers Mansion. They weren't that stupid to descend from the heavens only to get their ass kicked by the Smashers.

Fortunately, Gaston's victim tonight was Siris who was far from pleased that he would force the alcoholic angel to leave his shift for the night.

"I'm not done. Remember that Guilano isn't coming in today...so it's just me." Siris told Gaston darkly. "And for the record my son is on his usual expedition."

"Wow, aren't you fast with the excuses tonight." Gaston said with a laugh as he walked over to the bar and pushed Reyn off his chair.

 _WHAT THE HELL!?_

"Reyn!" Dark Pit called out but wasn't allowed to help his Dullahan friend with how Gaston was in the way. "What is your problem?! Reyn has issues getting back up!"

Gaston was confused at the statement before he looked at Reyn who was instinctively rubbing the back of where his neck would be. He smirked.

"Aww yes. He's the one who lost his head yesterday. They call him the headless one now and looking at him now...he definitely needs a head to be able to get his head back into the game."

Reyn attempts to stand up and try to punch Gaston for making bad puns in one paragraph. For some strange reason, he just punched the air forcing a laugh out of Gaston.

 _I am disappointed in my own ability to punch…_ Reyn thought darkly to himself realizing that he had no idea where Gaston was thanks to that drink. In actuality, it wasn't the drink as much of fearing of hitting the wrong person.

"That's a Dullahan, Gaston." Siris brought up as he turns around to get the drink that Gaston would want served to him. "And your puns are killing me."

"These head puns aren't killing you as much as they killed him!" Gaston announced with a laugh making the dark angel want to take the glass of Holy Milk and throw it at his face. Pittoo was able to restrain himself from making a scene. "Anyway, since that idiot doesn't know where he is, we should be talking about business my little angel."

"Don't call me that." Lived growled as he slapped Gaston's hand when he attempted to touch him _again_. "Just tell me what the hell you want so you can leave."

"I heard that you lost the head for your poor friend over there." Gaston began as Siris served him the drink and easily ran off to help the other guests leaving Dark Pit alone with the dangerous angel. "This head is apparently needed for your friend to come back to life. For you to mess up so badly like that is hilarious to say the least."

"What. Do. You. Want?"

Again Dark Pit attempted to slap Gaston's hand away but the other one simply just rested on his shoulder. He shivered when Gaston grasped at the dark angel's shoulder just so Dark Pit wouldn't try anything funny.

"You know I have friends that could probably help you retrieve the head." Gaston told him simply easily getting the young angel's attention. "If you ask nicely, I can have my friends search for the head of your friend and bring it back. Of course it's not free. When I give you the head, I expect to see you accept my proposal for saving your friends life."

"Never."

"Huh?"

"I'll never marry you Gaston. I'll say that as many times as I have to until it gets through your thick skull. I'll find the head and save Reyn myself without your help."

Normally Gaston would have snapped from Dark Pit's defiance, but the black angel was making a mistake this time around. He wasn't lying when he had friends that could help him.

"Are you sure about that? You don't know where the head is and you're relying on Little Ms. Summoner to find it for you."

"W-Wah?!"

"How about we make a bet then. If I get the head first, you will have to marry me...no exceptions. After all. If I get the head...then I'm destroying it."

Reyn heard that and immediately panicked. If he had a mouth, he would be screaming bloody murder at Gaston like a banshee. Dark Pit was furious at this attempt at blackmail and pushed Gaston away with more force than intended. The buff angel just smirked seeing the red eyes burn with hatred.

"I will never let you kill my friend!"

"It can be solved if we just-"

"No, you're on! I will get Reyn's head first and you will stop harassing me about this marriage! I have no intention of marrying...period! Your stupid angel politics are not going to drag me or Pit down!"

Dark Pit just didn't understand why Gaston wouldn't take him seriously. The dark angel was going to slap some hearts on the counter and leave, but before the dark angel could do that, his arm was seized by the muscular angel. Again, Dark Pit growled as he attempted to pull away, but Gaston was simply too strong for him.

"You know, when you play hard to get, you're only making me like you even more."

"Stupid pedophile…" Dark Pit muttered under his breath.

"It takes a pedophile to know one. I mean, look at your twin brother and his young demon fiancé."

"Pit won't even…" Dark Pit stopped himself as he tried to pull away again. "Let me go. You're wasting my time!"

"Come on my little angel. Since you're mine anyway, you might as well give me a farewell kiss before you head back."

The dark angel was ready to kick Gaston in the balls at this point. Fortunately, Dark Pit wouldn't have to worry about physical violence thanks to Reyn who finally was facing the right direction to punch Gaston in the face. The punch was strong enough that it sent him over the bar.

 _"Stop harassing my angel!"_ Reyn wrote down on the whiteboard that only Gaston could see. _"If you want Lived, you're going to fight me!"_

"Umm...I don't think anyone can read that Reyn…" Dark Pit murmured only catching a few words on the whiteboard before Reyn actually turned in his direction. "W-What? Hah?"

Reyn was certain that he picked up Dark Pit with both hands. If he could talk, he would have apologized to Siris for suddenly leaving the bar. The dark angel blushed being carried bridal style out and the only thing ruining the moment was Siris shouting.

"CAN YOU STOP DRINKING AND RUNNING?! I NEED TO MAKE A LIVING HERE!"

Reyn didn't care that he was causing a scene by taking Dark Pit out of Safe Haven and rushing back to Palutena's Temple. It was amazing how Reyn could easily run a straight line when the dark angel was in danger when he couldn't even do that yesterday. Normally, Dark Pit would question his friend, but for now, he didn't mind leaning into his chest and letting Reyn take him back to the temple. It felt nice being loved for once.

* * *

 **Me: TBC with 8478 words.**

 **Li: Where did the head go?  
**

 **Me: Who knows. Notes (and Ari will be talking too again)!**

 **1\. Ari: I feel it quite necessary to explain why Reyn's head and body seem to be acting so differently despite originating from the same guy. The head itself is relying on his own conscious thoughts to act. Essentially he is fully capable of going "wait, this is stupid and might get me killed", not that it will always be the case because this IS Reyn we're talking about. On the other hand, the body is relying on the "gut instincts", so that's why Reyn's body seems to be unable to actually do anything right. So yes, he is, quite frankly, thinking with his stomach.**

 **2\. You might say this is Laharl's first appearance ever with Pit on screen in my universe even though the Infection story after Faustian Contract is supposed to be his first official appearance where his and Pit's relationship is taken seriously. Besides the obvious demand of actually writing Pit/Laharl instead of offhandedly mentioning Laharl once in the story to never bring it up again, just have him show up and be the reason why Pit is distracted in this story and can't help Dark Pit. We can see here he doesn't take the engagement well, but we only hear the aftermath and this is when Palutena steps in too, so Laharl acting calm isn't normal.**

 **3\. You'll find out why Shulk is so pissed off in the first place soon. It's not like him to just get all snappy even if it is Pit, but the reason for his short temper is for a humorous reason. Hint: It has to do with Rob and knowing me it probably has to do with my grade A cockblocking.**

 **4\. At this point of the timeline, Cia has pretty much redeemed herself and admitted to loving Ash to the point where she and Lana will often be hanging out on Phantom Isle when Dark Pit does not need the protection. It's why Cia is happier now than she was in other stories and more open-minded to Dark Pit's group. There is one more thing she has to do before her character arc is done, but that's going to be later. Soon I'll have a list of most of the stories in a particular order to show the timeline, but this story is very much down the line before Super Smash Galaxy starts.**

 **In this story, Dark Pit's gang has met up in Smashopolis and are friends now. I have issues writing Ash's personality because while Ash is a nice guy, he's also incredibly snarky. If he wants to not get hurt by Cia, he has to be more on the snarky side. He's still sensitive about death jokes, but seeing as how Reyn is a Dullahan, he can openly joke about without anyone noticing that he still gets offended when the jokes are thrown back at him.**

 **5\. There is an old man in Xenoblade with the same name as the God of Wine in my Kid Icarus universe. I'll probably have to have Dark Pit bring that up later if they go back to the bar, but this is just an FYI.**

 **6\. A daily reminder that this is the third time that Dark Pit has forgotten to pay Siris. The Arachne and Kaguya one-shot are both canon to all timelines and he failed to pay Siris in both of those stories.**

 **That's it. Reviews are appreciated. Ja ne!**


	4. They Say the Cure to a Headache is

**Let's Not Lose Our Heads**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Super Smash Brothers. That goes to Nintendo. The only characters I own are those from the Golden Land, angels from Skyworld including the royal bodyguards, Angel Assembly and archangels along with all the other angels and of course the witch hunters. Finally I do not own Phantom Brave or Queen's Blade. They belong to Nippon Ichi and Hobby Japan.**

 **Summary: During a duel with one of the Angel Assembly members, Reyn gets decapitated by accident and has to be turned into a Dullahan in order for his life to be saved. His head fell off Skyworld forcing Dark Pit to search the human worlds for the missing head. Reyn only has one week left before his body officially gives up on him and he has no way of communicating with his friend. Will the two be able to find his head or are they heading for disappointing results?**

 **Pairing: Reyn/Pittoo, Pit/Melia, Robin/Shulk and implied Pit/Laharl and Ash/Cia**

 **Rated: M (for mature)**

 **Genre: Humor, Romance, Friendship, Drama and borderline Parody**

 **Warning: Swearing, memes, bad puns, sexual situations, extreme violence and unintentional OOC**

 **Another gift for Aria because she is obsessed with the idea of Reyn as a Dullahan. (And murdering people in increasingly odd ways.) Well here is how that will go in my universe. Enjoy! Also, the Rob/Shulk sex scene in this chapter is censored. You'll have to read that entire scene on AO3.**

Chapter 4: They Say the Cure to a Headache is to Take a Chill Pill

* * *

 **LATE MORNING** **(Eleven hundred hours)**

It didn't take too long for Flare to locate Reyn's head. Maybe it was because it was in one of the Nintendo realms that Pit had easy access to or maybe it was because Reyn's head caused a bigger disturbance than before.

"He is in Rogueport." Flare reported to Dark Pit the next morning immediately after he woke up. "I am telling you this now before Gaston sends spies to watch me again."

"Rogue what?" Dark Pit asked as he wiped his eyes to try and remove the sand that was in them.

"Rogueport. You know that place in Paper Mario. There is a stage based on that."

"No...we were on a boat…and I don't think that is a port…"

"The theme was Rogueport though."

"Anyways, where in Rogueport?"

"I do not know. Take someone with you who can protect you from that shady place. We wouldn't want to hear that something you cherish is stolen."

Dark Pit did not like the way Flare was speaking. He shivered lightly as a result and wanted nothing but the fortune teller to leave.

"I await your return." She said in a rather cold voice as she casually dismissed herself before any random Centurion started spying on the two angels.

The black angel wanted to ask Pit where was Rogueport exactly. He wanted to know if the Mario universe and the Paper Mario universe was the same. Pit was vague with explaining how the Marioverse worked seeing as how all the sporting events, party games and apparently Mario and Luigi took places all in one universe. He wouldn't say a thing about Paper Mario though…

 _What to do?_ Dark Pit asked himself as he went back in his room and locked the door. It was nice of Reyn to carry him to his room last night even if the bonehead had trouble getting back to the guest room. Dark Pit should have asked him to stay after that dumb incident last night so things would be easier. Admittedly, he didn't want anyone questioning his relationship with Reyn too much. He already had too much on his plate and he didn't need Gaston making the situation worse for him and Pit. "Arachne, are you there?"

"Yes, Li-Li?"

Dark Pit did not appreciate Arachne sneaking into his room. She had a bad habit of doing so due to her occupation as an assassin in the past. It only took him creaking the door open to talk to Flare for her to come in waiting for Dark Pit to call on her.

"You really need to stop that."

"Stop what? I'm your neighborhood friendly Spider Girl." She hummed as she slowly descended from the ceiling. "What can I do for you?"

"...Spy on Gaston for me." The fifth seat captain ordered. "Two can play at that game. You have so many eyes that you'll be able to see what he does at every move. As for me...I'm going to get Reyn and Kaguya to come with me to Rogueport. You heard what Flare said after all…"

"Of course I did. She was being vague as usual. I think you should look for people who are not so shady. I heard Mario had a friend named Goombella there."

"Are we talking about the same Mario?"

"Who knows? I'll just warn you that you should wait until Kaguya is done with her meditating. She'll actually cut you down if you disturb her."

Dark Pit was always impressed when Kaguya did stick to her word with training to be as strong as she can be for him. She was the least reliable of the two girls that he had under his command, so it was nice to see she was taking this so seriously.

"Thanks for the reminder." The dark angel told her as he quickly went to grab his tunic. He had gotten so use to Arachne that he could change in front of her without the spider demon flinching. It did help she was only interested in women besides the exception being Reyn (and that annoyed him greatly). "Don't get caught Arachne. I don't want you exterminated for going back to your old ways because of me."

"Nah, it will be fine. He'll never notice me." Arachne said with a reassuring cat smile. "Just be sure to get the job done this time so I won't have to do it too long."

* * *

Pit had already been attending to his captain duties around the same time his twin brother woke up. Things were going to be chaotic until Laharl and Sicily returned to the Netherworld but now that Reyn had lost his head and the Homs and Melia were here to stay until that issue was resolved along with the stupid rumor going around that Dark Pit agreed to marry Gaston if he found Reyn's stupid head. Pit expected to snap more at the smallest thing the Centurions did now while trying to make everything squeaky clean for the Netherworld Prince. Laharl was only on his best behavior because of Palutena. She threatened to give him marshmallow hell if he didn't at least try to be civil with her angel captain and Pit groaned how blackmail was still involved in this whole thing.

It still surprised Pit how angry he was that he couldn't spend time with his little fiancé. Normally, he would dismiss him and force himself to forget Laharl existed. Maybe spending some time with him as allowed him to open up to the idea of courting the antenna haired prince, but with how Gaston was acting wasn't helping Pit's dilemma one bit.

 _I don't even care about the kid. This is all for Lady Palutena!_ Pit told himself. _Even if my reputation is hurt because of that stupid demon brat and that idiotic alien...I still have to keep things relatively calm._

How much would he have loved to join Dark Pit on his journey to retrieve the head? It would get him away from the high expectations set on him this week.

 _I'm going to be really bored if I don't find something to pass the time while I'm with that brat._ Pit thought grimly to himself as a stupid idea came to mind immediately. _Oh, maybe I can woo that one bird girl that is with Shulk! She's single and I'm certain Lady Palutena wouldn't mind too much if I got into a relationship with a princess. The brat is still underage anyway and I'm not going to perform adultery anytime soon!_

In the brunette's head, this was a good idea. The reality was far from it. He would still need to think of how to approach the High Entia without insulting her. Since he was already indirectly insulting her, things could only take a turn for the worse. However...he did want to ask Himeno if she could help soften Melia up so they can have a normal conversation later before the fun started.

"Good...I got this!" Pit declared to himself as he pumped his fists in the air.

Before Pit could even go to the fourth division, he could hear Laharl cursing at someone to leave him alone. Pit would have ignored it if Laharl was just causing a scene, but hearing Gaston made his blood boil as he headed in the direction of their shouting.

"Kid, you ain't going to satisfy that dumb captain with the lack of experience you have." Gaston taunted as he again tried to reach for Laharl's arm but smacked him away. If he did this one more time, Laharl would take his sword out and hack it off. "You would need to learn from an expert like me before you can do it with him."

Pit roundhoused kicked Gaston without warning at that statement. Laharl was taken aback that the white angel was around. Either that or he was a pedohunter.

"Gaston, stay the fuck away from my fiancé." Pit growled seeing Gaston recover quickly and curse at the angel captain for ruining his morning. "Also, stay away from Pittoo! I'm tired of you going after him when he told you and the other suitors no! Pittoo gets to choose who he wants! As for the prince…" Pit wasn't thinking when he grabbed Laharl's arm and hoisted him a little too high. The bluenette didn't react as quickly with Pit as he did Gaston but the light angel didn't grasp him that hard. "...We are engaged and I expect you to know your place. If any of you angels try to touch what is mine, I will make sure that failed execution I had for Arachne will apply to you and the rest of sniveling bunch of suitors."

Gaston would have fought back. Pit's menacing blue glare pierced his heart and made him run off like a bully who had just been schooled. The light angel sighed as he gently put Laharl down.

"Sorry…" Pit apologized rather quickly. "Just needed Gaston to leave you alone."

"I would have killed him if you hadn't interfered." Laharl responded rather happily. "No angel gets to touch me without getting their ass kicked!"

"...But I'm fine?"

"...You were kind of impressive for a moment." Laharl admitted. "I'll let your rough handling slide just this once."

 _What is that supposed to mean?_ Pit grumbled even though he let out a small smile seeing that the young prince was safe. He shook his head thinking that his mind was starting to wander off into unwanted territory. _...Well maybe seeing Himeno and wooing Melia can wait. I can spend some time with the brat._

"Treat me to brunch! I forbid you from neglecting me this time!"

"You can feed yourself…" Pit growled. "But I'm already heading there anyway...so let's go."

* * *

 **AFTERNOON (Twelve hundred thirty-four hours)**

So it did take an hour to get the two ready to go to Rogueport. Kaguya didn't want to be disturbed until she was finished meditating and Reyn was having issues changing his clothes. He hadn't changed for almost three days now and was starting to smell so the situation became more awkward when Dark Pit tried to fit him in some Centurion clothes. Reyn ended up magically learning how to make his own clothes that was identical to his military uniform removed except they were black.

Once the trio left, they would quickly reach Rogueport relatively easily. Unlike Ivoire, all words connected to the Smash Brother Realm were easy to access. If the head ended up in another Nintendo world, then it would be easier to jump to that world instead of having Flare take most of the day to search for it.

Dark Pit was surprised that Rogueport was not made out of paper unlike the video game. The dark angel wondered if that meant that some of the wacky things that could only happen if you were paper could happen here. Both Dark Pit and Kaguya had a different opinion of Rogueport. To Pittoo, it was a magical place full of nostalgia and adventure. To Kaguya, it looked like a dump for criminals, drunkards and drug addicts. Both of their interpretations weren't too far off though.

The moment when the trio entered the town square and before Dark Pit could give orders to search for the head, a Bandit had already ran up to the young angel and pushed him down. Apparently Dark Pit had a wallet full of hearts that he had for all situations. The Bandit quickly ran off after giggling at his success.

"What the hell?!"

"Hey, get back here!" Kaguya shouted as she chased after the Bandit leaving Reyn to awkwardly look down at Dark Pit but failing to help him up seeing as how he extended a hand in the opposite direction of where Dark Pit was.

"Wrong direction idiot…" Dark Pit growled as he stood up. "After that thief!"

"What? You got something stolen?" Reyn wrote surprised something right in front of him.

"Yeah! Didn't you see...oh I forgot…"

" _I take offense to that…"_

In the short time they were bickering, Kaguya had already came back with the Bandit. The poor thief had burn marks all over his body and has swirly eyes to boot. Kaguya had the wallet full of hearts in her free hand as she held the Bandit high in the air with another.

"Nothing flees from Kaguya!" The self-proclaimed moon rabbit exclaimed. "Now be a good boy and run off to your mommy. Otherwise Kaguya will cut your hand off."

The Bandit tried to wriggle out of her grasp but the gauntlets were providing Kaguya with extra strength.

"Do you understand?"

The Bandit nodded his head as she dropped him. Before the Pianta police came to pick him up, the blue bandit scurried away.

"Here you go." Kaguya hummed giving the wallet back to Dark Pit. "Cute wallet."

Originally he was going to thank her, but seeing the cute animal design of chicks on it made him snatch it up and put it back where it got stolen from.

"Isaak bought it. Got a problem?"

Of course Reyn had a problem, but he couldn't voice it. He couldn't see the design. He couldn't do anything without a head!

 _I think I need to get my head back now! Something happened and I just stood there like an idiot!_ Reyn shouted to himself before attempting to walk and stand in front of Dark Pit and Kaguya. _"Do not worry you two! I will make sure to protect you!"_

"Too late for that…" Kaguya teased seeing as how she dealt with the criminal in a few seconds.

With the bandit out of the way, the trio could go around Rogueport and ask people if they have seen Reyn's head. In retrospect that sounded stupid seeing as how the residents would just look at them with confused stares and wonder why they're interested in a head. Kaguya's description didn't make anything better seeing as how she made it seem like they were looking for a head they had just removed. Despite the odd looks, no one questioned Dullahan Reyn. He was having an easier time walking around Rogueport due to everyone's aura being weaker than Dark Pit and Kaguya who he just needed to stand next to and pray that he wouldn't trip over a rock.

Most of the citizens of Rogueport were unhelpful with the search. They either had funny one-liners about irrelevant subjects or they gave cryptic info that did not benefit Dark Pit or Kaguya. Kaguya was just like Reyn and didn't use her brain that much. The dialogue just flew over Pittoo's head.

"Dammit! Is there any NPC here that actually knows where the head is?!" Dark Pit asked out loud.

" _What is an NPC?"_ Reyn asked on the whiteboard.

"...Forget it. That's something Pitstain would say."

"Oh! Maybe we can ask that Goomba over there!" Kaguya announced pointing to a pink Goomba with an explorer's hat on top of her hard head. "Hey!"

"Hmm?"

The pink Goomba was outside of a house and reading something to herself. Once she noticed that someone was waving to her, she closed the book before looking somewhere else. She then turned her attention to the big breasted lady that approached her.

"She obviously isn't around here." Is the first thing that came out of the female Goomba's mouth seeing how Kaguya's chest was bouncing when she was running.

"Of course not!" Kaguya answered unaware that the female Goomba was staring. "My name is Kaguya and Kaguya wants to know if you have seen a big ugly head with red hair and has a large appetite."

 _I AM NOT UGLY!_ Reyn yells as smoke comes out of his neck.

"Woah! Is that a Dullahan!?" The Goomba exclaims as she rushes past Kaguya to get a good look at the tall figure. "You guys are definitely not from around here."

"Of course not." Dark Pit growled. "We're only here for the head that this idiot lost in Skyworld."

The female Goomba squealed hearing the term Skyworld. "Oh! You must be Pit! Hi, I'm Goombella and I heard a lot of good things about you from Mario!"

Now Dark Pit fumed at his identity being mistaken for his twin. "Excuse you! I am Dark Pit! Servant to no one but myself!"

"Wow. What an original name."

"She's got a point." The princess of the magic clothes stated. "It's why we just call you Lived or Li."

"Aww, that does sound better."

"Anyways, have you or have you not seen this idiot's damn head!?

 _You really don't need to rub it in._

Goombella had to think about the question before answering. "Yes, I did see the head. We had a decent conversation too before I told him to go to the Trouble Center."

"YOU DID WHAT?!"

Reyn could feel the angry aura coming from the dark angel. Perhaps it was a good thing he couldn't see how angry his expression was.

"Yeah, he was thinking of eating and running. If it weren't for me, he would be sold off to the mafia here. That's why I suggested he pay for the meal by helping others around."

"Kaguya cannot believe how smart this head can be…" Kaguya said in almost a whisper

"Can you tell us where the head went so we can retrieve it?" Dark Pit asked trying to maintain his cool but already lost it at this point.

"I don't think you're going to find that head anytime soon." The pink Goomba said simply. "That head has been taking the troubles of others left and right from the Trouble Center. The one he got will have him gone the whole day."

"WHAT?!" Dark Pit and Kaguya exclaimed at the same time.

" _How can my head hold onto a job?"_ Reyn wrote on the whiteboard very puzzled at the recent turn of events.

"Well, I assume that because the head has the brain, that obviously he would have some common sense. You're just...the body portion that acts on instincts."

"Sounds about right." Kaguya said in a mocking tone only making Reyn want to strangle her.

" _SCREAMING AT YOU."_ Reyn writes but it's so bad written that Kaguya just giggles at his frantic movement.

"So yeah...unless you guys stay in Rogueport tonight, you are pretty much out of luck."

The fifth seat captain folded his arms and pondered on what to do now. He wanted to get this job done immediately, but in a place they knew nothing about especially if it wasn't paper...it would be foolish to run around. Kaguya was the only competent crew members he had now. Reyn was just dead weight in this situation and it wasn't like in Ivoire where he had three other people that could assist him if they got to the head on time.

Reyn noticed that Li's mood dropped. He had a bad feeling about this...

* * *

So while all the chaos was going on in either Skyworld or Rogueport, as stated above...Dunban had abandoned Reyn in favor of hanging out with Magnus for the entire week or until either Shulk or Melia dragged him back to heaven to assist them. Dunban honestly expected to do some demon hunting half the time and getting dirty with the older male the other half of the time. It was probably a bad idea to think that given that Rita was there to spend time with his father. The nature angel wasn't the only one who descended to the human world. Saber went too given she was one of Magnus' friends. Dunban wanted to know the details of how Magnus lost both his friend and his son and how they coincidentally became angels under Pit's command but Magnus refused to budge on his backstory. Give it a little more time and he probably will spill the beans but now was not the time.

The first thing Magnus wanted to do after seeing Dunban brought to him was introduce the samurai to the members of Magnus' mercenary group who were still alive. Besides Saber, the pink haired angel who was labeled as the Angel of Death because of her association with death and decay, there were three other members in the group. Dunban recognized one of them as Gaol although when she wasn't wearing that huge suit, she looked like the splitting image of Samus. The other two were faces that Dunban was certain he did not meet before. One was a youthful teenager with more muscle than the average one probably due to working out and using a big shield as his main weapon. He had medium length blond hair and blue eyes. He gave off the aura of a king or a Greek hero, but Dunban wouldn't know much about the mythology in Magnus' universe to be able to confirm that. The other was a young pale woman with long jet black hair and red eyes. If Saber didn't die and her hair didn't magically become pink as a result, this woman would have past as Saber's older sister. She was the obvious black mage of the group judging from her attire and one had to wonder how she was able to practice dark magic in this time.

"If you ask about why I practice witchcraft, I only worship the Goddess of Witchcraft, Hecate." The pale woman spoke almost immediately before Dunban had a chance to say anything. He had a really bad feeling about her.

"Since I already introduced you to Gaol, Samurai...I would like to introduce you to the others. You probably talked to Saber on the way here. I got to say, she's a tough cookie if she can just pull herself out of the ground after death."

"Don't remind me." Saber growled darkly.

"Anyway, the young lad is named Aigis and the young lass is named Deandra or DD for short."

"Yo! Who's the hot babe, Magnus?" Was the first thing that came out of Aigis' dumb mouth.

"I am a man." Dunban corrected almost immediately. "But thank you for the compliment."

Magnus eyed his younger Homs companion suspiciously as Aigis' jaw dropped. No scream came out though mainly because DD cursed him to not scream at that very moment.

"How many times will you mistake pretty boys for women?" DD questioned rather annoyed. "You did this with the archangel too."

"But he looked liked a woman from behind!"

"But you mistook this man from the front...your point?"

"I DIDN'T NOTICE THE FACIAL HAIR UNTIL NOW! STOP PICKING ON ME!"

Gaol just facepalmed at the young teen. This is why DD needed to put a permanent curse on his mouth where he would speak only when he needed to be spoken to.

Magnus sighed deciding it would be best to ignore his human comrades and focus only on the samurai for now. Rita and Saber waited for the older male to give them instructions. Magnus ended up shooing the two angels away to go speak to the mercenary group leaving Magnus alone with Dunban.

"So...are you going to explain why you are here instead of helping your...son out?"

"Reyn is not my son." Dunban corrected. "I am glad he is not my son. In fact, I'm actually glad that he can't talk anymore."

Magnus looked at the Homs like he lost his mind. Dunban was smiling the entire time when saying that too, so he was serious for the most part.

"You have got to be kidding me…"

"Shulk and Melia are there. They will handle the situation. In the meantime…" Dunban smirked as he immediately clung to the older male causing him to flinch only because Dunban was bold enough to do it in front of the mercenary group. "You're going to show me around, right?"

"I'll show you to the bed...but not now. I have a job to do."

"...Really now?"

"Would have said that before you got all horny."

Dunban only forced himself closer to Magnus as a response. "Would you really be upset if I was?"

"The vacation just started...unless time went by fast in Bionis…"

That was probably the case. Magnus groaned at how he still needed to learn more about Bionis to avoid situations like these. If Aigis were to give his attention to the two males now, Magnus would never hear the end of it. Dunban didn't care that he was risking Magnus' reputation because in the samurai's mind, he had nothing to lose if this was shaping up to be a one night stand.

* * *

 **EVENING (Twenty hundred hours)**

After much arguing mainly due to Kaguya being stubborn and insisting that things go her way, Dark Pit finally caved in to let Kaguya stay in Rogueport to wait for Reyn's head to return with whatever item he needed to complete the job. If Arachne's task wasn't watching Gaston's actions, then he would have had her watch for the head. Kaguya needed to do something besides stand there and look pretty, so she might as well stand out and wait for a head that equally stood out. In the back of Dark Pit's mind, he would regret this decision seeing as how he forgot that Kaguya wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed either.

The only other reason that Dark Pit wanted to head back to Skyworld was that he noticed that Reyn was losing complete focus. It was already bad enough that he started to wander off alone and nearly getting pulled into a mafia turf war, but when his body went into the item store and attempted to grab food without paying, there was going to be problems. It was better to rob the angels in Skyworld then to deal with the Pinatas who would probably chuck them onto the roof or something with no way of getting down.

It didn't take long for the two to get back to Skyworld. The only reason why it took longer than what Dark Pit wanted was that Viridi wasn't responding and Palutena probably had her attention to the Netherworld prince and Pit to be paying attention to Pittoo. Once Viridi did respond, she obviously mocked him, but let the two back into Angelus where the main door was. It was already night time back in Skyworld and Dark Pit always found it funny how every time they returned, everyone was already getting ready to close up shops and go to sleep thus preventing Reyn from honestly interacting with the citizens of heaven...not like the Homs would want to anyway seeing as how they treated him as a monster.

" _Lived, are you still mad at me for leaving early?"_ Reyn wrote noticing that Dark Pit was walking ahead of him. _"I mean if the head isn't there, then there's no point in sitting around and doing nothing, right?"  
_

Dark Pit really didn't have to read the whiteboard to know what Reyn was probably telling him. He only sighed as a response.

"...Honestly...it gets annoying when I have to hold your hand the entire time…"

 _Ehh?_

"Like this is the third day and you still crash into walls and trip on objects. I would think by now that you would be able to move around without me."

" _I do that anyway though…"  
_

"Of course you do, but it's not the point."

Despite Reyn not being able to see Li's expression, he could imagine that his eyebrows furrowed downward and that he was probably emotionally exhausted after the third day. If they get the head tomorrow then that's a load off of the dark angel's back, but given how Dark Pit didn't believe in Kaguya enough to do the mission flawlessly, he was just going to be worried for the rest of the night.

" _Lived, is there anything you want me to do to help you out? I mean…"_

"I'm going to Helel. Follow me without holding my hand."

" _Huh?!"_

"Wait until I'm gone and then meet me at the cemetery. We'll head back to the temple from there." The raven haired angel sighed again as he continued. "I kind of want to be alone for a few minutes...please don't take an hour like you normally would."

 _Ouch. That hurts Lived._

The Dullahan was tempted to trail after the dark angel immediately seeing as he recognized his aura more than anyone else (besides Arachne of course but that's due to his phobia). The aura seemed to flicker temporarily as if something was troubling him. If he had a mouth, he would interrogated his friend on what was bothering him. If Reyn had a guess, Gaston's words last night might have affected him more than he realized simply because if he doesn't get the head soon, he risks that asshole angel actually obtaining it and putting Dark Pit in a situation where he could be blackmailed. Reyn made it clear that the black angel was his though...so it wouldn't be a problem...right?

Dark Pit's movement was rather frantic just so Reyn would have a hard time pinpointing him. This was part of a test and immediately the Dullahan wanted to chase after Dark Pit right then and there. Unfortunately, when he tried to move, he ended up tripping over himself again thus he lost Dark Pit's aura.

 _Oh man...I am so screwed._

It got worse for Reyn from there. Even if there weren't that many angels walking around, their aura still made Reyn get confused of the struggle of heaven. If he tried to recall the image of Angelus before he lost his head, he might have been able to walk in a straight line, but he just couldn't do something as simple as that.

To make matters worse, Reyn could hear those angels insulting him thinking he didn't have any ears.

"So it looks like the replica tossed the demon away in the end."

"That's hilarious. And he's supposed to be the leader of the Demon Division."

"I would throw away one that can't even walk straight too."

 _I can hear you loud and clear._ Reyn grumbled to himself. He just didn't know which direction the voices were coming from. All he knew was if he knew who was talking down on him, he would give these two angels a piece of his mind.

"Hey ladies, I know Li-Li's friend isn't ze prettiest of sights, but I do not zink you have ze right to judge. What would Pepper zink if she heard you two talking down on a demon?"

 _That sounds like…_

"Isaak!" Both of the female angels exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"I was going to pick up Li-Li, but seeing his mood, I don't zink I will. I will take zis Dullahan zough so you ladies can go back into your restaurant."

There wasn't much the two female angels could argue with. Once they went back into the restaurant that Reyn could not see, he could no longer feel their aura or rather it mixed in with a lot of other customers inside leaving only an electrifying angelic aura in front of him. If Reyn had a head, he would have gulped feeling weirded out being in Isaak's presence.

"Are you done playing around or are you going to keep walking around like a buffoon?" Isaak questioned resisting the urge to not make a head joke in this situation.

" _It's not like I'm running into things on purpose."_ Reyn wrote down rather quickly.

Isaak glanced at the whiteboard and was ready to treat Reyn like Laharl did and dismiss his comment. He shook his head in annoyance.

"Honestly, if you weren't stressing Li-Li out so much I would believe you. Even if you were to bump into a few angels, you shouldn't be taking hours to get from point A to point B. It's a straight line to the temple for Palutena's sake. Why are you moving in a zigzag every single time?"

" _Ummmmmmm…"_

"Zat's not an answer."

" _H-Hey! People who can't see tend to not move in a straight line! If I had my head…"_

"And yet, you only move well when it concerns Li-Li. Otherwise you fail miserably every time."

Wasn't Isaak supposed to be a nice angel? Why was he being such a jerk?!

"If you're zis bad at walking, at least learn how to summon your horse."

 _"Huh?"_

"You know Dullahans are capable of summoning horses to ride...right? Or did you lose the logical part of you when you lost your head?"

So much for Isaak not bringing up the head…

Reyn internally groaned at Isaak's insult. _"No, in case you haven't noticed, I wasn't a Dullahan originally. I don't even know what you angels did to turn me into one...wouldn't you turn me into an angel for dying?"  
_  
Isaak shrugged his shoulders on that one. He wasn't a mind reader so he never knew what Flare was thinking. Only Aqua could get any information out of her, but since Aqua barely spoke in the first place…

"Well, I'm telling you right now zat you should learn how to use a horse. It could do you justice seeing as how you are literally a hinderance to Li-Li at zis moment. I'm surprised he has so much patience with you."

 _What…_

Reyn didn't bother to write down what he thought of Isaak at that moment. Something inside of him was threatening to rise out of his neck.

"Let's be honest. If you can't do something as walk without relying on Li-Li, you don't deserve to stand by his side."

Reyn wanted to punch Isaak so badly, but the lightning angel had already turned his back on him.

"Hopefully you take my words to heart because Li-Li and I are going for a ride tomorrow night. If you can't bother to ride a horse, zen you can stay grounded where ze undead belong."

 _You son of a bitch!_ Reyn cursed internally as he swung the air in front of him even knowing he was too far to actually reach Isaak. His mind was only focused on the lightning angel at that moment as he did what he should have done sooner.

Reyn ran in a straight line out of Angelus and past Palutena's Temple just to reach Helel. Now the hardest part was running up the stairs to the cemetery and he tripped at least three times before reaching the top...and he wasn't rewarded for his efforts.

 _Lived, where are you?! Can we get back to the temple now? You won't believe the shit your friend said to me!_

The dark angel was nowhere to be found. Reyn was certain that the aura that he had was here originally, but it vanished and went somewhere else. Did Dark Pit give up on Reyn already and head back to the temple...or did something else happen?

Reyn ended up looking in the direction of Sandalphon. It wasn't a straight line from what he remembered, but he was certain that Lived's aura was in that general direction instead of Helel.

 _Lived...where did you go?_

* * *

There was a reason why Dark Pit wasn't in his designated spot. Reyn would pick up immediately the traces of angelic aura that did not belong to the dark angel. It was aggressive and overall more dangerous and the aura was heading out toward Sandalphon.

Dark Pit had wanted to ignore the angel suitors originally when they approached him seeing as how if they made a move on the black angel, they would have paid for it dearly. The problem was they were too drunk to care forcing Dark Pit to try and outrun them. Unfortunately, there were too many suitors and combined with Pittoo tripping on some hard cloud allowed the angel suitors to snatch him off the ground and pull him to a more isolated part of Sandalphon. Given how this was where all the shady and poor angels were, Pittoo shouldn't expect a rescue from the angels here. He could only curse his bad luck how he doesn't have a weapon to protect himself at this moment.

"Heh heh…you can't escape us now little angel." One of the suitors spoke as he rubbed Pittoo's belly. "You belong to all of us now."

Oh, these suitors weren't going to get away with molesting him. Dark Pit wouldn't hear the end of it from Pit if he let these drunken angels had their way with him. At the moment, he needed to by his time in order to obtain enough power to summon Eve. As long as he was dead serious about keeping his chastity vow, Eve could be summoned to ward the suitors away. The Mother of the Universe was a very strict woman, and if anyone messed with her, she would have their heads and their sexual organs. He never wanted to rely on her because it would mean hearing her voice more often. Dark Pit like having his mind to himself unlike Pit who often got invaded by Palutena or the other Gods, and the last thing he needed was a strict divinity that had to warn him that he was not allowed to have dirty thoughts of any kind.

This was why he was allowing them to enjoy their last moments before he unleashed her wrath. It was why he didn't struggle too much when they gagged him, so he wouldn't scream when they dragged him over to the quiet streets of Sandalphon, and it was why he refused to react when that hand went under his shirt to let them caress his chest and pinch at his nipples.

"Aren't you obedient? If only you were like this to Gaston."

Dark Pit would rip his dick off if Gaston even put him in a situation like this. He would wait for that buff angel to drop his pants and he would go out of his way to make sure that man wouldn't be able to reproduce. Again…he was silent while another angel stuck his hands down the young angel's pants. He gasped feeling uncomfortable being roughly touched, but he allowed them to do it.

"Mmmgg…"

"Oh, did you like that? Want me to do it again?"

 _Just a few more minutes._ Dark Pit told himself as he shut his eyes and let the other suitors surround him. _Dammit…it's hard to concentrate…_

It wasn't these angels touching him that was making him lose his concentration. It was the stupid idea that it should be Reyn who was allowed to touch him that made him blush. He had to get these naughty ideas out of his mind before he was put in a terrible situation, but the idea of Reyn (with his head back of course) dominating him in this helpless state made him unintentionally hard…and those angels caught that.

"You claim chastity…but you're a slut…-hic-"

"You're so hard I can see the bulge! Hee-hee!"

 _Not from you ugly bastards._ Pittoo growled under the gag but he was getting a little irritated that Eve wasn't responding because of that stupid idea. _Dammit, Eve! Hurry up! I'm sure you don't want me losing my virginity to such trash! Hurry up before…_

Well Eve didn't need to respond at all because Dark Pit would be saved before they attempted to strip him naked.

Reyn had managed to tap into his Dullahan powers effectively creating a sound that sounded like a horse's neigh. The angel suitors stopped what they were doing to glance at the shadows that took over the buildings in Sandalphon. Dark Pit gasped mainly because he didn't know Reyn was capable of such a feat.

" _HEAR ME ROAR! LEAVE WHILE YOU CAN BEFORE YOU FIND YOURSELVES HEADLESS LIKE ME!"_

Reyn didn't need a whiteboard to make that declaration. He was angry enough that the Dullahan magic could allow his voice be projected without a head. The angel suitors were a bunch of cowards, so they were going to turn tail and flee. The one that didn't continued to latch onto the scarf portion of Dark Pit's tunic. Seeing as how this one wanted to continue harassing the dark angel, Reyn would eventually emerge from the shadows with a smokey head identical to the one he originally had. His anger was allowing him to channel a weapon similar to his Driver too if this drunk angel wasn't going to release Lived.

" _You must really want to die."_ Reyn spoke through the head. _"I'll make sure to take you to your funeral!"_

"EEEEK! MONSTER!" The angel suitor screamed as he pushed Dark Pit into the Dullahan. "HERE'S YOUR STUPID REPLICA! STAY AWAY FROM ME!"

And like the other suitors, this one would too run back to Evangelion with his tail in between his legs. Dark Pit wondered if they would report this to Gaston, but they seemed too drunk for that to actually happen.

"Took you long enough." Dark Pit responded after quickly removing the gag from his mouth now that the angel suitors were no longer holding his hands behind his back. "I would have been fine even without your help though. You just came sooner than Eve did."

Reyn didn't write a message immediately. Instead he let the shadows disappear from Sandalphon before suddenly embracing the red eyed angel.

"H-Huh? Reyn?"

 _Sorry._

Dark Pit wouldn't have been able to hear that now that the Dullahan had managed to calm down, but the black angel had an idea what he was saying through his actions.

"I'm okay Reyn...honestly...just work on how you move around. You got here pretty fast without any help, so if you just practice a little more…"

" _We don't have that much time."_ Reyn wrote out as he forced himself to pull away from the dark angel. _"We only have four days left after this and I still can't walk straight much less summon a horse."_

"Huh? Why would a horse matter? I mean, it would mean fast travel, but I can't imagine you riding one." Dark Pit thought about that for a moment and continued his train of thought. "Then again, I'm sure if you asked Isaak that he would be able to help you with that. I mean, I was surprised that besides Phosphora that Isaak was able to tame Phos and Lux. Sure Pitstain and I can use the Lightning Chariot, but he got them to be obedient immediately without having to resort to chasing after them so…"

Smoke in the form of a volcano eruption came out of his neck.

"What is it Reyn? You seem upset."  
 _  
"Nothing."_ Reyn wrote making the black angel wonder what he said to make him upset. _"I'll figure something out. There won't be a need for you to guide me around Skyworld that much longer. I can handle myself."_

"Hey, that's fine." Lived told him simply before he let out a yawn.

"Now...though...I want to sleep. Walking around and getting harassed wore me out." Lived glanced at Reyn as if expecting him to carry him off bridal style again. Unfortunately, Reyn was not in the mood to do so meaning he would be stuck walking back to the temple. Groaning at how he wasn't going to be treated like a prince, he walked ahead of the Homs expecting Reyn to follow him.

The only thing on Reyn's mind that entire night was about what Isaak had told him about being deadweight to Dark Pit. While his friend was yapping on about how they were going to retrieve his head tomorrow and to still expect some disappointment from Kaguya, Reyn's shadow sizzled as if it wanted to burn the image of Isaak into the ground. The redhead had never felt these emotions inside himself before, and he wanted them to be gone if it meant ruining the interaction between him and Dark Pit for the night.

* * *

 **Me: TBC with 8052 words. We are at the half-way point now and chapters are going to get longer for me to cramp as many scenes as possible.**

 **Li: That's your fault for having so many ideas but so little time.**

 **Me: Hush! Notes!**

 **1\. In my universe, Paper Mario until confirmed in Smash to be a different Mario realm is part of the universe as 3D therefore no one is paper. I pointed this out in Fallen Angel when I used Super Paper Mario on Count Bleck's gang.**

 **2\. Ari and I decided that if summer season is the mating season for most bug demons that Homs and a few other animals would be more sexually active during the winter. Bionis moves on a different clock than the other Nintendo words, so it's already winter by the time Shulk, Dunban and Riki return.**

 **3\. Goombella is capable of breaking the fourth wall, but due to how Dark Pit is a recent character and Mario would have told Goombella about Pit during the Brawl era, she mistakes his identity for Pit.**

 **4\. Dullahans are supposed to have horses according to the myth for transportation. The horses can take the shape of whatever transportation the Dullahan wants hence Celty turns hers into a motorcycle.**

 **That's it. Reviews are appreciated. Ja ne!**


End file.
